A picture is worth a thousand words, and I have reluctantly decided that showing my pictures may become the best motivator of all. Please see my About Me section to know the entire weight story.
I don’t have any picture on my computer of me before I first lost weight in high school, that was a little before the time of digital cameras, and pictures on Facebook and computers. I would have to first find the pictures that I’ve buried away (I hate looking at them) and then scan them.
So instead the story of pictures starts with me at my lowest weight in high school after I had lost all my weight, had a bad flu in grade 12 and lost even more weight. I was about 128 pounds, and my self-esteem was flying high (See left). It’s funny because it’s a bad picture, but it’s one of my favourite skinny pictures.
Next I have my favourite picture of my brother and I (See right). It’s only a month or so after the previous photo was taken, but I was at a happy weight that I wanted to maintain
Later that year was prom, and after a gagillion years spent orangafying and crisping myself up in a tanning bed all for one night, it kind of paid off. In residence in university, people would look at my prom pictures, and actually say “Who’s that?” (in a “I want to meet her, she’s hot” kind of tone), it’s not that I had gained a bunch of weight, but I had my make-up and hair professionally done, and sort of looked like an oompa loompa. I’m generally as pale as the above picture of my brother and I, and it takes a lot for me to be tan, but that was the summer where I actually looked healthy and alive outside, even if I may have risked myself for a little skin cancer. Here’s the full body shot (See left) of me at prom…I wasn’t in perfect shape, but I felt great about myself, and to me, that’s mostly all that matters.
Fast forward to late summer, right before heading to university at the ripe ol’ age of 17, this is me with my super summer tan. I’m pretty sure these were size 8 jeans, had a little lefty and righty going on (what my best friend and I called our muffin top hips), but I was looking good (See right).
In the fall I moved to Ottawa for university, and lived in residence. Nights became my days, and days my nights. I usually woke up between 2-3:00 pm, and bed time ranged between 3:00am (on an early night) to 6:00am. University put high school drinking to shame, and I maintained my weight most likely because of my “drinking bulimia” as I liked to call it. I definitely didn’t have an eating disorder or anything scary like that, it just meant I didn’t really have to worry about the fatty foods I ate for dinner because I knew I’d probably puke it up when I was drunk later (See below)
After my first year in university I moved back home for the summer, and would move into a house with roomies in the fall. I had reached a point in my life where I knew who I was, was happy with that person, and truly felt comfortable in my own skin. I had never had a real boyfriend, or any boyfriend for that matter, and never quite understood why. Everyone told me that a) when I stopped looking I would find him; b) that when I was happy with me that I would find him; or c) as my mom liked to tell me, that I hadn’t found him because I was so damn picky, and that I would only find him, when he was the right one. When I went back to school in the fall all of the above happened. Our best friends were dating each other, and we met through them, after my best friend very strategically planned a post-Thanksgiving ride offer back to Ottawa (he was hot, how could I not try to meet him). Superman endured an entire 4 hour car ride filled with Red Hot Chili Pepper music (I would later find out that they were one of his least favourite bands). I had recently seen them in concert, and had my iPod shuffle completely filled with their music, and had not had the chance to switch up the play list. He sat in the backseat (my best friend/roomie in the front), and we kept starring at each other through the rear-view mirror the entire drive. At the end of the drive (when I dropped him off) my best friend gave him her email so we could make plans to all meet up sometime. After a couple weeks I kind of lost hope and began questioning whether our eye flirtation was a figment of my imagination. Finally, after my best friend/roomie’s boyfriend (i.e, his best friend – god this is complicated to write out) came to visit, they got him to add me to MSN. We spent many days and nights glued to our computers chatting on MSN, and I really started to like him. He finally asked me on a date, and we had a pre-date group hang out with the four of us a couple days before. Our first real date was to the movies to see The Prestige and I invited him to come out with us (the roomies) on Halloween, and after that night we became inseparable, and officially boyfriend and girlfriend on December 2, 2006
I turned the big 19 in November 2006 and my brother came to visit in Ottawa for it. It was a crazy weekend, filling with lots of drinking, and two legal trips to the bars in Ottawa (finally!). I always paid the price for being the late birthday in the group.
My second year of university was amazing. I had a new boyfriend that I was madly in love with, and spent every moment possible with, amazing grades (compared to my ones the year before), and life was close to perfect.
At the end of April we moved back home for the summer and I worked at the golf course I had worked at the year before. In May 2007, I found out my brother had died (see my About Me story for the full story there). As you can see for the most part, my weight stayed the same between 2005-2007. During that summer, I didn’t gain much weight (see left above), but come Christmas, I had gained a noticeable amount of weight and decided to get a personal trainer, which I started in February 2008.
I was in the best shape of my life (not for a weight number, but I was fit). I was in great shape after personal training (see left), and maintained for a little while, but ever since the weight has been piling on. At first it was because I didn’t want to go to the gym and see my personal trainer after gaining 5 pounds, but with time, my excuses came left right and center as my paint grew tighter.
By summer I was gaining, and starting to hate on myself. I knew I was back off the wagon again, but I didn’t have motivation to get back on.
My weight gained slowly, but it was consistent. I was unhappy with the situation, but couldn’t get myself out of it. Prior to my trip to Cuba after graduation I lost some weight with Dr. Joshi; however weight gain became somewhat rapid after my trip to Cuba. The next series of photos shows the last couple of years of growt
Needless to say, I obviously ended up where I am now. Below are three pictures of myself that got my motivation back. The first two are the ones that did it. I saw myself in these photos (from the annual party we have in honour of my brother), and it hit me that I needed to start doing something fast before I transformed into a blob, had cankles and well yeah, you get the point. The last photo was taken on my brother’s birthday, May 30, 2010, the day before I kicked it into highish gear. Oh the shame..
So now, here I am on July 1, 2010 – slowly getting my plan into action. Hopefully I will begin to see progress in my photos soon enough!
Here is one of the re-motivator photographs taken at Odyssey 2010. This is on August 1, 2010, and I am at about 5-8 pounds weight loss here. This photo isn’t even the worst one taken (and yes, that’s on Facebook for the whole world to see).