Halfway

Oh dear... it happened again. I disappeared.

The truth is, life has been kind of crazy lately and even during all the fun I've managed to continue to have, I'm been super insanely busy with work.

Like, we're talking two trips across the country in the past two weeks.

At the beginning of August my friends dad was asking about my job and I was told him that I was fortunate enough that I didn't need to travel in July and wouldn't be going anywhere until the second week of August.

Then shit hit the fan for lack of a better anything and I went out there on the 16th.

Then shit REALLY hit the fan between my return on the 19th and the phone call I received on the 22nd, so I jumped on another plane on the 23rd.

Needless to say... I'm even more content with my decision to move home because, while jumping on a plane is a bit further, it's always easier for Miss Vadacat.

So it's been crazy. Insane even. A lot of brain drain happening up in here.

Not to mention the fear of telling besties and landlords and bosses running through my brain.

On top of all of this, I'm struggling to even focus at work...and so I wait for the storm to settle so I can just take a deep breath and go... ahhhh.

Whiiiiiiiich will be happening as of Friday (or question mark Thursday!). It's Odyssey on Friday and I cannnooooootttt wait.

This summer has been the best summer of. my. fabulous. life. and given that Odyssey is the best weekend of the year I can only imagine how great it's going to be.

I kind of need to escape to a beach chair and just sip on Palm Bay's.

I realize this post is all over the place, but I'm going to leave it at that because it'll give you a taste of the million miles an hour my brain is going at and the million things that are floating around in it.

Summer is halfway through, and well, those Europe recaps, I'm halfway through Poland. I'll get there... eventually (I finally just uploaded them all on Facebook).

I hope you're all having a fabulous summer!

Decisions

I have to pause my recaps that I am writing and working on and taking my sweet ass time as promised... and just talk about chapters and life decisions.

Awhile back I talked about moving home for the summer and figuring out my place in life right now.

It was a matter of fact decision and easy enough because it was temporary.

Something has been going on in the inside though, that I've been trying really hard not to address. I would swallow it and push it and pack it deep down and forget it until the next time it came up again.

For the record I just had to stop typing for a cry break.


Ottawa isn't home anymore.

I just don't feel the love and connection to the city that has been my home for seven years anymore. I have been tossing around the idea of moving to Alberta as a change, but that didn't feel right.

This whole time I kept thinking, I'll decide in the summer. I'll decide in the summer. Stop thinking about it.

Now it's summer and I'm home.

And I'm happy. So so so happy.

Except at night my stomach tosses and turns and I feel ill about making a decision about what to do.

I work from home, and I can be anywhere. Everyone is everywhere in this project.

I still have an Ottawa-based job, but right now I never want to be there.

Last week I went to Ottawa for 2 nights and I hated it. I sat alone in my apartment thinking about how alone I was here. I have a few friends, but no circle.

I have my best friend, but that's it.

I don't have a support system. 

Another cry break.


So where am I going with this? If it isn't entirely obvious right now....

I've decided to move home indefinitely.


This is huge, it's a big decision and well, it just feels right.

I've been feeling sick about this for months.

I am alone a lot in Ottawa. I work alone, and then I don't have enough people in the city to be able to fill a week... so I often am alone 4-5 days a week.

Sometimes I haven't talked to a person in person all day, unless you count the time I went out for sushi takeout and the guy at the cash asked me what I wanted.

Luckily, this has been sustainable because I travel a lot. Otherwise... it would have sucked even more.

I have wanted to be single, but every time I'm in Ottawa I would rethink it because I was lonely. I can't stay in a city hoping to find a boy because there is a bigger population, because if I've been taught anything about Ottawa... I just don't get the boys. They're a different breed from home.

Now here I am. I made it to the summer and I'm living here most of the time, and life is full and robust and awesome.

I'm never home after work, because I have plans.

I have people here.

I'm busy and full of life.

It is fantastic.

Since I work from home I don't see this decision affecting my job. I still have to my boss, but I don't see it being an issue. Travelling will be easier to Alberta because Vada will be already here. Vada has my dog, Vada is happier than ever. This is right.

I can handle a trip a month to Ottawa. I won't be completely cut off from that life, and I will be so much happier.

And, let's not even talk about the financial benefits of being able to save at least $900 a month.

The decision now that it is made is a no-brainer.

But making it was hard.

And it is hard.

A chapter is coming to an end... but I know without a doubt, that the next one is going to be filled with excitement, refreshment and my lovely life of adventures.

Time for new.

Now to tell my best friend, my boss and my landlord.

Eurotrip 2012: Berlin

So for those of you just tuning in, we left off my recaps with a hungover sleepy time train ride to Berlin from Amsterdam.

Made it to Berlin in barely one piece!

Since we missed the first train that morning to Berlin (second one in total if anyone is counting) we didn't arrive to Berlin until a bit later than originally anticipated (okay a lot later).

Berlin has a crazy metro system, and I have to say we're pretty proud for having rocked it. Man, just in general Europe has transportation figured out, but Berlin... oh man we all need to take note.

Berlin isn't exactly a "beautiful" city, but to me, Berlin was the most beautiful city we visited. The alternate movement and culture in that city is fascinating. Given it's history and everything it is about, the rebellion and revolt is palpable, and is shown and painted all over the city in beautiful graffiti. Words do it no justice.

After eventually finding our hostel, we took some showers and down time, and then eventually went off to explore the area a bit and landed at McDonald's for dinner.

When we got back it was getting a little late and we rallied hard (or I did anyway) to get ready for our night out in Berlin.

I know, I know... am I insane?! Probably.

For those of you that don't know though, Berlin is one of the craziest party cities in the world, this would be our only chance to go out big in Berlin and well... you gotta do what you gotta do.

We met these Irish guys in our hostel after getting ready and decided we'd go out with them, the common room closed at midnight, and that was quickly approaching, so we ran to get our stuff and meet the boys out front, only to see that they had left without us.

We went back to our room to try and figure out a different plan and look at a map, when one of the guys in our room (that wasn't going out) recommended to us that we go to a club called Matrix, which was within walking distance.

So off we went.

This club was unreal. It was what clubs should be, since it was a weeknight, it wasn't fully open, but that night there were 5 rooms with dance floors (and another random room with just a bar), and each room was playing different music. We stuck to 90's and mainstream.

At some point in the night we happened to literally run into one of Katie's friends on the 90's floor (which is seriously the most insane thing EVER), and also into the Irish guys that turns out didn't ditch us, but were kind of forced into a cab that they couldn't wait on for us.

Fun night, one cannot describe. We literally danced the night away, and I can actually remember having one of those almost slow motion life moments as we danced on the mainstream floor and confetti let out all over the room and everyone screaming and dancing together. It was wild.

At one point in the night I could feel myself really starting to fade, but Katie wasn't ready to go, so I sucked it up and found some energy stored somewhere and forgot about my tiredness. We had no watches, cell phones or anything to indicate what time it could possibly be, so we just kept dancing.

Eventually though... I hit my wall and said, "I NEED TO GO". As we gathered our coats, we discussed getting a cab for safety purposes even though we would really like to walk home to unwind.

That's when we walked outside and saw that the sun was up. It was seriously one of the most surreal moments of my life.

We enjoyed our walk home and eventually passed out around 7am.

At about 1pm I woke up in a haze only to notice that we had already slept a good portion of our only full day in Berlin away. I rustled Katie and we got ready. There was a free alternative walking tour at 3:00 that we wanted to make.

We made our way to the meeting place, and I downed a coffee....and we waited, and then waited some more. We were a bit surprised to see that there weren't any people gathering anywhere, and no sign of a tour. We asked the coffee shop and we were in the right place. Eventually we saw a big circle of people, but they were speaking some other language and we decided to go do our own thing.

Travelling lesson 101: Go with the flow. If you get upset about "wasting time", missing things or anything not going your way... you could miss out on the most fantastic day of quite possibly your life. For serious. 

Katie had been to Berlin before and done the sort of "traditional" site seeing. She had heard about the Eastside Gallery and knew that we had to go. For those of you that don't know (I'm not going to do much of this) the Eastside Gallery is the largest portion of the Berlin wall that is still intact, and it is covered in murals. The murals are mostly about peace, and are painted from people all over the world.

It is beautiful. Add it to your bucket list now. 

I have never felt so alive in those moments as I walked that stretch. I gasped, I cried, I laughed, we hugged, we seriously had the best day ever. 

Words will never do the justice of how amazing and beautiful that walk was. I will remember it for the rest of my life and every time I think of it my heart flutters and feels bigger than my chest has room for it.

Afterwards we stopped at the Jamaican beached out sand bar and then headed over to the Memorial for Murdered Jews and the gate, with a pit stop at a forest to lay in the grass. 

We ended our perfectly perfect day with Indian food and going to bed at a decent time. 

deeeelicious

The next day we headed to Poland. 

To end my Berlin recap... I will theme it with a song. This is pretty much our theme song for the whole trip, but it all began here.

 Life is truly beautiful.

 

Eurotrip 2012: Amsterdam

I figure I should probably get going on these recaps or else... my mind will likely just put it on a permanent back burner until the point where it is no longer all that relevant.

So let us get started on my Europe adventure re-cap series by starting with the beginning, middle and end. Amsterdam (I'll actually cover the middle and end later on so this is a chronological story).

I think most people think of two things when they hear Amsterdam... hookers and weed. While... yes, Amsterdam does have the red light district and the aroma of pot in the air, it's so much more than that. It's an absolutely beautiful city that should be on everyone's list to visit.

Nearly every block of the city (particularly in the centre) is broken up by hundreds of beautiful canals. The canals are filled with boats (which many people live in) and the albeit dirty water is what makes the city so unique and beautiful. I might add that there is a boat somewhere in that city called the Puss in Boat (or something) where rescued kitties live. Unfortunately, the time ran out (which will be addressed at the end of the series)... and I never got to see all the rescued kitties living on a boat. Sigh.

I flew into Amsterdam and met up with Katie since that is where she has been on exchange for school and finally got to see each other after months apart (not counting the million Skype dates between then).

The first night she was doing student stuff while I was trying to get on the right timezone. The next day she had an exam and the next evening the plan was to jump on a train and head to Germany.

truly beautiful

In the morning I went to the Anne Frank House by myself and explored a bit of Amsterdam. That evening she came home and we had about an hour to get our stuff together and get to the train station to head to Berlin.

About 5 minutes before we left (about 20 minutes late) I noticed that the train times said something about a needed reservation. We had bought eurail global passes, and the thought of reserving seats never occurred to us.

Since the plan was to do an overnight to Berlin, we put on our packs and headed to the train station anyway (with very little time to spare). The walk there was excruciating to say the least. Our bags were SO heavy. By the time we got to the station we threw off our packs and got in line. Turns out... our train was sold out. Whoops.

The lady told us that we had another option of leaving at 6:30am, but we had to get a ticket and wait in line properly (apparently in our mad dashing we cut the line). While we waited we kind of laughed and immediately became excited by this turn in events. A night out in Amsterdam just opened up and Katie got on her phone texting all of her friends to make plans for that night. We were going out!

Side note: Our reaction to missing our training is the recipe we had to making the best trip ever. If you're ever going on an adventurous vacation, or welp, anything to do with life in general. When EVERYTHING seems to go wrong, even when you think you're doing everything right, there is usually a huge reason behind it, and you'll be eventually quite happy with the way things turned out.

Double side note: Yes, I realize "going out!" isn't exactly the best plan when you have a train to catch at 6:30am. More on that later...

So the Kate and I turned around, put our packs on and headed home. As we walked we realized how hungry we were and also that about half way through the walk, our bags were unbearably heavy and we needed to stop in a cafe for drinks and dinner, and well you know, when in Rome Amsterdam and stuff.

When we got back to her apartment we unloaded our backpacks and took a serious look at what we actually needed and I removed probably close to five pounds. I urge all backpackers that are actually flying out with their backpack and cannot do this, to unload and reload your backpack 80 times before you leave, and each time you do it ask yourself. Do I need this? Do I want to carry this? and most importantly, do I want to continue to repack this every time I need to change locations? The answer is probably not for a lot of silly stuff and you'll likely end up saving your back and having more room to buy souvenirs.

Anywho... Katie and I repacked our bags, put everything out for us to basically come home from the bar, and go to the train station. We were ready.

We met up with her friends and the two of us were sharing a cheap bottle of wine. Being the innately responsible person I was, I knew we needed to keep a level of coherency in order to make our next train at 6:30am. Missing our first train? Hilarious. Missing a second? Well that would just be stupid.

The decision was out. We'd be going to the bar Chupitos. For those of you that don't know Chupitos means shots. For those of you that don't know... I don't mix very well with shots. Shots give me really bad hangovers.

Harry Potter shots

As we headed to our cab, I said, "I can only do two shots Katie, shots don't like me". Famous last words.

The night out was fabulous. A great deal of Katie's school friends made it out, we had a lot of fun, and well, let's just say I lost count of how many shots I had at around about 7. Oops.

Marshmallow shots

By the time we were headed home, it was getting to be quite late, or early depending on who you're talking to.

I think we made it back to her apartment at about 4:30am. Two hours to change, get ready and head for our train. Plenty.

I remember drunk showers, giggling and drunk food. At about 5:20/30 I was fading fast. My stomach was starting to play mean tricks on me and I needed to pass out. But I couldn't. Katie kept telling me to stay awake, but I felt like I was going to implode or die or worse, be sick.

Pretty much explains the rest of the story

I think I fell asleep for about 20 minutes when it was time to leave. At this point it was pretty clear that I was going to be sick, but we had to go.

Little miss Katie is the definition of lollygagging at times (particularly when there is alcohol involved), and this time would be no exception. I just wanted to go and she wasn't quite ready yet. So I went outside to speed up the process so we wouldn't miss our train and so I could possibly be sick outside.

I remember having a conversation with a bush about how sick I was and eventually Katie made her way outside (drunk, rushed, need to be sick time probably equates to an eternity, but in reality she was probably just taking five minutes).

We walked to the train station and I was dying. Dying. Katie kept telling me to perk up and that it was mind over matter. I told her this was far past and beyond mind over matter and it was a mere fact that I would eventually be sick, hopefully sooner rather than later, and hopefully in a more appropriate place than not.

The next hour or so is a blur. I remember the two of us activating our rail passes, the guy telling us to go to a platform, trying to convince us of something, us telling him what we had been told, and us making it on a train. I was one-track minded at this point. Find a bathroom. Now.

Unfortunately we didn't have have time to make a pit-stop to the bathroom, so it was to the train we went... and it was to that train's bathroom I was sick for the first time.

Double unfortunately for me, that didn't quite make me feel better as it usually does, and I knew I was in for a lovely day of hangovers. I just wanted to sleep.

We both passed out as soon as the train got going, when a conductor came by to check our tickets. I have no idea how long we had been sleeping, but he quickly told us that we were on the wrong train and that we needed to go back a few stops to another city, and from there we could catch a different train to Berlin.

Being woken from my slumber reminded my body of how terrible I was feeling and we got off the train at the next stop.

At this point it might be nice to note that it wasn't a nice June day outside. It was cold, and as Katie so nicely put it... on a scale of 1 to it's June, the weather was effing ridiculous. We shivered and waited for the next train back to the "correct" station. At this point we were both exhausted and the humour in the fact that we had not only missed our second train, but actually gotten on the wrong one hadn't quite hit us.

Back we went, and the second we were on this train, I tried to fall back to sleep, but little old stomach of my reminding me of my broken vow for two shots forced me to bolt to the train bathroom for a second trip. Luckily this was the last time.

Eventually we made it on the right train to Berlin and it was a joyous sleep. The two of us passed out and I remember a lot of starring, but we didn't care, we were finally sleeping and finally on the right train to Berlin.

Accurate summation of Amsterdam

Next up... Berlin (don't hold onto your seats too much I cannot promise on the timing of the next post!).

Updates

Procrastination is pretty much the essence of my life, given that this post is a procrastination from my trip re-caps, and also procrastination from my real work at the moment. This post should actually be named Procrastination.

Anyway, I feel like I need to get some other stuff out of the way, and eventually those posts about my incredible adventures to Europe will trickle their way into your feeds. Eventually. Hopefully.

Instead I'm going to dust off the keyboard and update you on the here and now, and then I'll go back in time to my heavy backpack and sore feet and remember the 18 days of amazingness as I galavanted across another continent and what it all meant for me.

As of right now I'm home. Home living with my parents. Working from my parents home, and honestly, I couldn't be happier.

When I made the decision to move home back in March, it was a matter of fact, split second moment of clarity and decisions. I'm moving home. Just like that.

Between now and then, I had moments of doubt, questioning and wondering whether it would actually happen. I kept waiting for the summer to get here, and would go on hopeful dates and start to question if the plans to move home this summer would pan out and actually happen.

Then the universe stuck to our deal, and I came home from Europe still more single than ever, ready to unload into my childhood home for a summer of awesomeness.

This weekend was Canada Day, and it was the perfect way to start off the summer. A summer kick-off of sorts.

Three glorious days off, two surprise parties, dock days, swimming, sunshine, drinks, reunions, lots of friends, too many plans to choose from, a night at the bar and a last minute change of plans to my cousins cottage for a night away on the lake and a hangover or two, or three.

Epic in every sense of the word, exhausting in the other.

I am about 3 shades darker than when the weekend started, and could not be more excited, sure of and happier with my decision to spend an entire summer back home. The last time I did this the year was 2007 and life was a whole lot different.

It's going to be a crazy summer, a busy one and one filled with parties, docks and friends.

The forecast? Best ever.

Yah I said it.