I wasn't ready

We've talked about the Body Talk stuff...and I'm pretty sure a good portion of you raise your eyebrow to it in many ways because I realize the way it sounds. However, without going into details of my last visit at the beginning of the month. I just have to say things have shifted for me again.

The last time I went there feeling like I'd hit my 10 pound wall in weight loss. I was frustrated. Every time I hit 10 pounds, it's like I froze and couldn't overcome that hurdle. I couldn't lose that weight. I actually felt like there was a wall there.

So it's something we worked on... talked out. The idea of armour and protection came up again and about how I'm always feeling this need to protect myself from hurt again. 

So after that session, and working it through... something shifted for me. I actually felt different. I also felt more ready than I had in a long time to really date. I wanted to before, but I suddenly felt like it was actually possible because I was okay with anything that would happen. I was at peace with where I was at.  

Honestly I realize how this sounds. I really do. 

But since that session a week and a half ago. I'm officially down 15 pounds, and I've met a boy. 

A boy that I'm being cautious with for obvious reasons, but someone I already know I can feel safe with. 

There aren't any games. There isn't complication. It's just easy. 

It's obviously incredibly new, and we haven't even kissed yet (there is a story there)... but I just feel good about this one. It's healthy and simple, yet really exciting.

And then, stepping on the scale this morning and seeing -15 pounds and knowing I'm passed that hurdle and wall. 

Well... life feels right.

I may not have been ready before... but I'm ready now.