Tag

Yay for band wagons! Gotta love them! Thanks to Mandee for including me! 


Rules:
1. You must post these rules.
2. Each per­son must post 11 things about them­selves on their blog.
3. Answer the ques­tions the tag­ger set for you in their post, and cre­ate 11 new ques­tions for the peo­ple you tag to answer.
4. You have to choose 11 peo­ple to tag and link them on the post.
5. Go to their page and tell them you have linked him or her.
6. No tag backs.
7. No stuff in the tag­ging sec­tion about ‘you are tagged if you are read­ing this.’ You legit­i­mately have to tag 11 people. 


11 Things About Me:
1. My whole life I've always been a morning showerer, but in the last year I've made the shift to night time showering (or having a bath) and I like the switch. 

2. Speaking of showering I wash my hair everyday. When they say not to wash your hair everyday they aren't taking the extremely thin and pin straight hair people into consideration. After 24 hours you can I look like a grease monkey. I do use dry shampoo if necessary, but I shower everyday, so I just wash it everyday.

3. I'm starting to seriously consider getting the birthmark on my face removed. The argument I used to make for keeping it was that I was born that way and a it is a piece of me, but now the argument of if it's something that causes me insecurity...why would I keep it?

4. One of my pet peeves is when people go into deep long details about their dream last night. I don't mind a quick (2-3 sentence) synopsis of their dream because everyone does that, but anything more than that is annoying to me.  

5. People always comment on the fact that I have big boobs (even though I've never fit into anything bigger than a C bra); you'd think I'd like this, but when in reality I'm looking forward to being closer to my goal weight because I like having smaller boobs. You can wear a lot more cute shirts without looking like a hooker. 

6. I haven't weighed myself in a really long time. I haven't been particularly bad on this trip aside from a few bad choices (um hello who goes to Harry Potter land and doesn't get Butterbeer?). I'm not entirely worried, and actually would be leaning more towards a loss if I had to guess, but now that it's been so long I'm too scared to do it during Christmas/New Year's week.  Yah... so an update since I wrote this last week (that sentence up there yeahhhhh) I am now worried. Christmas time  you are so bad for me. 

7. One of my biggest dating struggles is being open to dating someone I don't see myself with long term and only thinking short term fun. I just don't think I'm wired to do it...and since I want kids before I'm 30 it really just seems like a waste of time to me. If I'm not immediately attracted to someone I just don't think I can do it. 

8. I say washroom instead of restroom. This is something I've noticed since my trip to the States and realizing that everyone says restroom there. True story... me: "Do you know where the washroom is?", girl: "Umm... I think it's near the restroom." 

9. I enjoy our coloured money. It makes deciphering which bill is which much easier and quicker than having to look through every bill to see how to pay. 

10. I went on my first long motorcycle ride in Florida with my dad. It was a ton of fun, we drove over 200 miles together! 

11. Thinking about things about myself is incredibly hard when I have done a ton of these posts before. I've been working on this post for more than a solid hour and still cannot think of random things about myself. 



Questions from Mandee : 
1. What is the last thing you purchased?
I bought lunch today while out with my best friend. It was delicious! 


2. Do you prefer salty or sweet snacks?
Salty 100%. I do have a sweet tooth, but I always crave chips, popcorn, fries, that sort of delicious bad for you food.



3. What is your favorite fashion trend right now?
Hmmmm tough call. It was feather earrings, but then everyone started doing it so now I'm over it. My newest trend I lovvvvve is wearing tights. No not black tights, but dresses with fancy tights tights. Like leotards haha. I have a pair of killer turquoise ones for New Years. I look like a hot smurf. 


4. Are your nails painted? What color?
Not right now. I'm a huge fan of shellac because it allows me to be lazy. I'm going out tonight and plan on painting them in OPI's Sweetheart. 



5. What is one thing you wish you could improve about yourself?
My weight. Easy peasy answer, long process to achieve. 


6. Who is the last person to make you laugh?
My mom about five minutes ago while picking out an outfit for tonight. I think the answer should always be your last conversation, what's life without laughter?


7. What is one thing your spouse does to make you weak in the knees?
Well since I'm single as they come, I don't really have an answer. But I'd say when a guy takes total control of any situation it's such a turn-on. 



8. Favorite holiday song?
So This is Christmas (is that the proper name?)



9. Would you rather stub your toe or have a paper cut?
Neither? I think stub my toe provided that it didn't turn my nail black. The pain goes away faster. 



10. Favorite book you've read this year?
Tough call since I've read quite a few books. The short-term memory in me says Hunger Games, but when I think about how much time is in a year, the answer is actually A Thousand Splendid Suns. 



11. New year's resolution? 
To make 2012 the best year ever. More on this later...


My Tags:
Steph, Jen, Jessica, Layla, Carissa, Amy, Rebecca, Michelle... and that's where I stop because these are the only people I can think of that might participate. I'd normally tag Meg but she just had a beautiful baby girl last week, so sending her a congratulatory bloggy shout-out just seems more appropriate :) 


Questions for my Tags:
1. What is your favourite vacation activity?
2. Do you sleep on a specific side of the bed? What position sleeper are you (i.e., side, fetal, stomach, back)? 
3. If you had to be locked in one room with someone for 24 hours, who would it be and why? You cannot choose your spouse/significant other or child (just trying to make the answers interesting). 
4. What's your can't live without cosmetic? 
5. If given $100 to spend on yourself, what would you spend it on?
6. Are you a mac or PC?
7. In the event of a zombie apocalypse where you want to be? 
8. What television show would you recommend to others as a must-watch?
9. Are you a morning or night person?
10. Is there something you're saving up for right now?
11. What was your favourite moment of 2011?

Have fun friends! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and have a great New Year! I kind of fail at blogging lately so I feel I should probably say that now just in case, since I started writing this post over a week ago! :)

Checking In

Well so it turns out that my resort is from the stone age, that or they just love to rip people off... and I don't have Internet in my condo (unless I wanted to pay $40 PER computer). So in order to have hits from my uber serious Internet addiction I have to walk all the way to the clubhouse. Good times. This would be no big deal (and it really isn't) but I've been super busy and lugging my laptop with me when I go for a nightly hot tub just isn't my idea of a good time. To be honest unplugging has been wonderful.

This vacation has been fabulous and oh so needed. I've been to the ocean three times, two theme parks (both Universals), lots of shopping and a fair. Tomorrow is going to be my first day of nothingness and being able to sleep in and honestly I cannot wait to just sit back and relax all day long. I'm sure the night will be filled with some fun and busy-ness but I just need a morning to sleep in and a day to relax in the sun and finally get rid of my t-shirt tan from June. Seriously, this beast just doesn't want to go away. I worked hard all summer with 60 SPF on the tanned parts and very low SPF on the others. Still there. I'm bound and determined to get rid of it before I leave. Anyway, random side note tangent. 

I'm on board for some sort of full update in the future but I almost fell asleep on a motorcycle today and the hot tub is calling my name! 

I know this post should probably be all Christmasy, but to be honest, the ornaments and Christmas lights in 80 degree weather next to palm trees just seems to weird to me, and the carols in the background kind of seem like a hoax or something. Like, is it seriously 3 days away from Christmas? I just don't believe the calendar or all these crazy people saying Merry Christmas (not Happy Holidays). I guess it's a good thing that these crazy Florida people have fake snow! 

Merry Christmas friends!! (just in case I disappear again!)

Falalalaorida

I'm here! Let the vacation commence!!

It's been a long time coming and a much deserved vacation if I do say so myself! I'll try and check in regularly over the next bit now that I'll have more time being on vacation and all! 

I check into my hotel tomorrow so I'll have more time to give you all an actual update, but I'm here and on vacation... FINALLY!

Recorded Thoughts

I really wish I could record my thoughts. Not all the time, because then I'd have a lot of random tangents and weird stuff to sort through to find the good stuff. I guess we're always thinking and well I like to think of myself as an intelligent person, I can't be on the ball all the time people.

Anyway, I just really wish I could record my thoughts when I come up with a good idea. Over the past week or so I've thought to myself, oh I should do a random post and include this, and that and that and this.

Remember that time I told you my memory was bad last week? Yah I wasn't kidding. I totally forget all the this and that and that and this.

So that leaves me here talking about thinking and recording thoughts. Stimulating stuff going on here! Thanks for stopping by! Ha.

So this last week has been pretty intense, and by intense I mean I had a rough weekend.

I travel a lot now, which to me is still kind of crazy. I didn't think that this is where my job would lead me (not that I'm complaining, because I'm not).

Anyway (apparently I'm in a tangent mood, this is what happens when I hit new post without a plan)...so when I travel I get exhausted and when I'm exhausted I get moody, and when I stop taking the pill I have no idea what my lady business is up to (TMI to the slight chance I have male readers) I get emotional for what seems like random reasons.

So on Saturday evening after being on business and in two full long day workshops, I met up with my uncle that lives in Alberta and his family. I'm not going into details here with the slight possibility he ever finds my blog, that he (god forbid) knows about it, but whatever. Let's just say we're very different people. I love him and enjoy seeing him and his kids (my cousins), but I'm going to be straight up when I say I liked it better when he lived back home and a visit was limited to a few hours and not staying with him and his family. They live their life very differently then I do, and I don't agree with 90% of it.

So tired and stressed me really wasn't into this whole over night stay to begin with, and as the visit went on I also became more and more emotional (like I said, don't agree with 90% of his life decisions). You know how sometimes you just need to cry, and you might not know why, but you know it's coming and something eventually is just going to open the flood gates and there will be no stopping you.

Yes this is where this story is headed.

Awhile back (I'm too lazy to link back), I talked about how I never cry any more. It's true, I don't. The last time I cried before Saturday was about 2-3 weeks prior. I initially felt the urge to cry on Friday. I was in the workshop and looked at my phone. I looked at the date and it read December 2. I did the funny squint when you look at something and it looks familiar but you can't quite...figure...out... oh...my...god... it would be our fifth anniversary today squint. Yah that one.

First of all, I was incredibly proud of the fact that I didn't even remember the date was coming. I mean this time last year I had been planning for the day for weeks and anticipating it. Here I am a year later and completely forgot this date even existed (thank you past self for buying a new agenda that didn't have any special past life dates in it!). So I had that moment of proudness that I didn't even realize that the day was coming, and then the fact that it took me a few seconds to figure out why December 2 was even significant to me, and then that tightness in my chest came when I was in a room full of people that I could not process this information around and I just wanted to run out of the room and cry.

So fast forward to Saturday night, double the tired, double the frustration and it's building. Add in the fact that I'm talking to one of my cousins via texting about some pretty dark stuff (on his end, and for his privacy that is all I will get into).

Skipping ahead to long story a bit shorter, I ended up crying. A lot. At my uncles. Could. Not. Stop. Sobbing.

I ended up calling my cousin which opened the flood gates and then it just wouldn't stop. My other cousin called me to discuss what had just happened, and then all these emotions came pouring out and this crying turned into me missing my brother. If I could share the entire story this would make crystal clear sense, but due to privacy of my cousin which I 100% respect I'll leave it at that.

You see, grief is tricky business. It really does sneak up on you, and for me it always does the sneak attack when I am stressed, tired and just moody already (and also that I unknowingly was about to be paid the lady friend visit).

Something I've really struggled with in my new single life is dealing with is the loss of my brother. Losing my brother is a significant part of who I am. I talk about him. Losing him is part of me. Losing him is why I am the way I am now. Talking about him is important. With this online dating business, you find yourself revealing important stuff to people, and since losing Kyle was one of the most significant moments of my life and the reason I am the way I am...it leads to me talking about the loss a lot. Well that and how many siblings do you have seems to be an intro question with everyone. Some guys totally jump into the questions about it, some guys avoid it, some guys just don't know what to say. I'm actually talking to an avoider right now, which always concerns me. Dating someone else that doesn't get it is really hard. Really hard. It's the reason I held on to a terrible relationship for so long. I couldn't picture myself with someone that didn't get me and get what I went through.

So here I am at my uncle's sobbing uncontrollably feeling as awkward as can be and just feeling empty. The last time I cried like this over my brother was a long time ago, and at that moment I just didn't know what to do. I wanted to talk to him but knew it would be the worst idea ever. I already had felt tempted on Friday, and at that moment feeling low as ever I felt like he was the only person that would understand me. Then I got even more upset that I had lost that person that understood me on that level.

I'm not trying to take away from my parents, my family and close friends that totally get it too and are always there for me, but they grieve in their own ways too. So while they completely understand how I feel and relate, at that moment I just wanted the person that was the outsider, the person that always understood me, and my feelings and why I was crying. 

Tricky business this grief. After a relapse in crying (you know when you stop, you think you're done and then it starts all over again), and I was finally calmed down with make-up reapplied and I was glad/proud that I didn't message him. Still haven't. Still am (proud). I can do this on my own. I can call other people (which I did).

It's hard... something I continually struggle with. Losing a person that was part of 1/6 of your life, and a pretty significant sixth of that life considering you have a bad memory and all and most of my memories include him. I'm supposed to have him cut out of my life, but no matter how hard I try, reflection always (well for the most part) includes him. He was my life for over four years.

We can't be friends. We can't be in each others life and I'm supposed to just feel nothing when I think about a significant part of my past. A significant part of which was in fact happy. It was just shit part of the time (and most of the time in that latter half).

This is the point in the post where I don't know where to go. This is the part where I should have had a plan. I really didn't plan for this to end up here at all. This is what happens when I leave it to my fingertips. Apparently this stuff is still on my mind, and stuff I'm still struggling with.

I miss my brother. I envy those people that have siblings. I miss my other half in life. I miss having that person that just gets you because you're the same. I don't know which person I'm talking about any more.

So I guess this is where my post rounds out full circle. Recorded thoughts... right here. Now if only I could figure out a way to record the good ideas that randomly pop into my head...

If you got to the end here, props to you! That has got to be one of my most random posts ever.

Five Things

If I stop moving I WILL fall asleep...and since I've been up since 6:40am my time, and I'm currently in 4:00pm Alberta time (6pm my time), I'm all sorts of confused and tired and ready to go to bed. But I actually just have a little itty bitty break and then it's back to organizing and getting ready for a busy couple of days here. K so I totally started this post in the afternoon (4:00pm and it's now almost 11pm... got distracted with work!). Today was a 13ish hour day if I don't include slack time.

At least I have a rockin' hotel room. For serious, it's legit.  A king size sleep number bed always is a win for me... minus the fact that hotel itself is kind of lame and I really would like to stab the guy at the front desk, and my view isn't outside, it's of the inside of the hotel (lame).

So I've decided to participate in a fun writer's prompt originally from Mama Kat's blog which I saw at Amy's {rainy saturday}. So list 5 things we don’t know about you, 5 things you’re knowledgeable about, 5 things you know nothing about, and 5 things you believe.

{Five things you may not know about me} 

1. My parents still live in the house I grew up in. Before I moved away from school I had never moved, it's the house I was brought home from the hospital in. Since moving away from school I've lost count of all my moves, not including the moves between summers I've lived in five different places in the Ottawa area. 
2. I used to get compliments on how ridiculously soft my hair was, and how healthy it was...then I started highlighting it, and now it's this ridiculously rats nest half the time. I love the colour so much but I might pull the plug soon because it's driving me nuts (and it's pricey to keep up with).
3. I'm at my most wittiest when I'm mentally exhausted. I also fantasize about stabbing people (not actually, I think I just need a drink of the alcoholic variety).
   
4. Some years I get totally insanely into the Christmas spirit... the carols, the movies, the gift buying, the decorating, the everything. I'm going to admit this year just isn't that year. This may or may not have a correlation with snow on the ground. But I'm just not into it this year. I'm trying people, but it's just not happening (watching Elf took it from 0% to about 30%). 
5. I stay up late all the time even though I hate it. This may or may not be news to you, but I'm running out of ideas here. I usually stay up till 1:00am-2:00am. If I say up past 2am I get anxious. I really wish I had the ability to go to bed at 11:00pm but it just does not happen. 

{Five things I'm knowledgeable about}

1. I'm probably one of the most knowledgeable non-pregnant/non-mother/non-doctor/nurse's about pregnancy. I realize that is a random sentence but I know a lot of useless facts about pregnancy for someone that has never been pregnant or gone to medical school. I don't know why other than the fact that I am just incredibly fascinated by it. 
2. Useless facts and memories. I have a terrible memory when it comes to important stuff, but I can remember what you were wearing that time we went to that place or what you ordered for dinner when we went to that restaurant a few years ago. My memory is useless. In reality I probably don't remember those things either, but the things I do remember are completely random like that. See! I can't even remember the things I remember. Maybe this should actually be in the next category.
3. I'm pretty darn good at giving advice. I generally have about 2-3 advice sessions on the go via texting. I kind of feel like a jerk saying this and want to climb under a modesty blanket, but I just like to think of myself as a good friend when it comes to these things.
4. Shopping. Now now, I realize this might come off as a silly thing to be "knowledgeable" about, but  just wait. A couple weeks ago I was shopping with my bestie for her first date with a boy that she really liked. She told me I am the best person to shop with because when someone is looking for something I just get on a mission and will not stop until the perfect outfit/shoe/accessory is found. I also just know where to look and what will work. I'm the master of "just try it on". 
5. I feel kind of lame about the things I'm coming up with here. So I'll go with research on this one, since it's kind of my career. I'm a good seeker. If I'm looking for something (outside of shopping) I find it. I'm really good at it. 

{Five things I know nothing about}

1. Numbers. For realz. I used to tell people when I'd struggle to calculate the simplest adding/subtracting problem that I was an arts student for a reason. It's not that I'm bad at math, I usually got A's in high school, but I did that with the help of a calculator. If there was a gun to my head and someone asked me to do a long division problem my brains would be splattered on the wall. Your welcome for the visual. 
2. Cars. If my car broke down on the side of the road I would have no idea what to do except call my dad. 
3. The brain. I totally don't understand the hormones, the neurons, the parts, the everything. That was my worst class of university and I totally just made it by on guessing in multiple choice. Does. Not. Compute. 
4. Speaking of the brain. My thesis was based a lot on brain activity. I did all the work, and it's been published but I have no idea what any of it means. Yes, I'm legitimately serious. 
5. I'm going to go there and say boys. They just make me scratch my head.

{Five things I believe} 

1. Fate. All the effing way. Things totally happen for a reason. 
2. On that note, I also believe that we can create our life's picture. If you're going to be negative and a downer all the time, bad things will keep happening to you and that picture is going to be black and dreary. If you're positive it's going to be bright and sunny. I'm not exactly sure how this ties in with fate, but I believe in both to my core. 
3. I believe in family. I'm not really ashamed that most of my closest peeps are family members. My cousins are so important to me, and my parents (obviously) and my aunts/uncles. Family is the bestest ever. 
4. That kitties are probably the best pet in the entire world. The fact that I have to go an entire week alone in my apartment next week without Vada is heart wrenching. It makes my heart hurt thinking about it. 
5. I believe in soul mates, and I cannot wait to find mine. Well yes, I can wait, but you get what I'm sayin'

Join in and let me know if you do!