The Weekend

On Friday night (see photos) Stewart and I went for a walk in the snow and took the camera out for some fun. I definitely find taking pictures in the dark extremely challenging.

Yesterday both Stewart and I weren't feeling very well, and my day consisted of watching the end of Season 2 of Weeds, the first half of Season 1 of Heroes, and going out for a nice dinner with a horrible waitress (which is always nice because then you save in tip). 

We ended the day with Miss Vada peeing on our bed. Stewart was annoyed, and I was immediately concerned. Cats do not pee outside of their litter box. Vada does not pee outside of her litter box. After some trusty google searches, I found out she likely has a UTI. Poor thing. So I'll have to get her to the vet tomorrow and on some drugs. 

Today I still feel pretty tired, so I skipped out on the gym and am finishing up my application to grad school. Lazy yes, but I really can't get sick right now and definitely don't want to push myself.

A walk in the snow

It takes a lot of attempts to get a good photo!

Once again, if you have any questions for me, ask away... I'll be addressing them on Wednesday!

Neverending Road

I realize this is generally a Thursday post and that Wee Bits will be here later today, but this is just in my head now.

{source}

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about where I am, where I could be, and why I'm here now.

I've been on this weight loss journey before and yet here I am years later heavier this time and still struggling. I feel like I've finally mastered my exercise routine and am getting somewhere... but it's still challenging and I'm still out of shape. It's a good challenge that I'm loving. I've been committed to my weight loss pretty solidly since the end of May, but I still haven't completely committed myself to my diet {meaning the food I consume}. 

I can honestly say I don't eat terribly. Most of my food is a prepared meal with reasonable sized portions... and I do eat my fair share of fruits and vegetables. I just haven't committed to writing it down and figuring it all out. I find that part of weight loss completely exhausting. I wish I could intuitively eat and lose weight, but the reality is that it isn't working for me. I know that weight loss is like 80% diet and 20% exercise, and together they do incredible things. I know I have to be more strict. I know that. 

I've kind of hit this point in my journey where I am completely frustrated with myself. I know that what ifs can make a person go crazy, but so can the if onlys. 

If only I had got this under control sooner...

If only I had never stopped going to the gym...

If only I had never gained all the weight back...

 If I had lost only one pound per week since my motivation sparked I would have lost 35 pounds by now.

I am frustrated with how far I haven't come.

I know this is a life long commitment... believe me I know.

I struggled and tried so hard in high school to gain a self-esteem and make it to a place where I felt comfortable in my own skin. I began to know that girl. That girl became who I was. And now I'm stuck back in my insecure body and I'm fighting to get out, yet I still cannot find the fight inside me to push through whatever is holding me back. I know that I'm perfectly capable of doing this. I've done it before! The only thing I can think of is that there must be something holding me back inside. Why else would I sabotage my biggest goal?

I know this is a long road - I've got a long way to go, and once I get there I can't stop, or else I'll find myself back in this same exact spot again. It's times like these, where I see myself struggling to get out of the gate that I want to give up and throw in the towel, but I'm still here motivated as much as I was the first day. My motivation and desire hasn't gone anywhere, and I know I'm not going to give up... so even if it takes me 2 years to lose these 50 pounds I will still be sitting here 2 years from now motivated to get there...to get back to the girl I know I am. The girl that is happy with herself. The girl that looks in the mirror and smiles.

And once I find her again... I'm never letting her go.

My brother and I (her) circa 2006

My Weekend in Photos

I had a wonderful weekend at home. I loved having new territory to take photos too!  Vada loves her Grammie and Grampie's house... so much to explore!

Ozzy is ball obsessed. Pretend my knee isn't in the bottom left corner.

Sassy vixen.

My old man cutie friend. I love him.

Daddio

So much snow!

His "Throw my ball" face

Badness

I was trying  to play around with bokeh's and this is what I got... I personally think it turned out kind of cool.

How was your weekend?

My Community. Our Community.

I knew I wanted to start a blog long before I started one but didn't for a while because surprise! I care what people think about me. I mainly felt reservations about starting my blog and people from my small town finding it and judging me. I'm not going to lie and say this isn't still a fear of mine. But I digress.

I was born to write. I honestly think I express myself better in the written word than in the spoken. I was definitely made to share myself through the written word.  So when I started my blog I not surprisingly fell in love. My blog has become my safe place, and it's kind of silly how often I think about it. I think about what to write, what to show, how to make it better, designs, ideas, and of course the community.

I have made so many wonderful bloggy friends and I find myself talking about you wonderful people in my real life. I feel like the blogging community is like no other. We're all addicted and obsessed for the most part, and we all are so similar. We share that common thread of expressing ourselves through the written word. You may have the weirdest and strangest hobby and you'll find another blogger just like you.

I haven't quite ventured out enough with my camera to have an inventory of my own photos yet! 
{source}

Before I started this blog I had one I started for a bit called Life With a Smile. It had absolutely no purpose so I just stopped. Before I decided to start this one I knew I wanted to blog about something specific first. I'm not engaged or a mother, and since most of the successful blogs out there seem to be about that {or so I thought at the time} I needed to find my own niche. I decided that I could probably relate to many men and women out there because of my struggles with weight loss. Eureka! Journey was born {what this blog was originally called}. I wanted my blog to have a name that would follow me through my life...because I want to be able to adapt and hopefully conquer my weight issues and still have something to talk about. I missed my old name of my first blog and hence the name change to Life's Journey with a Smile.

When I started talking about my struggles with weight loss {way back in April} I didn't realize how many blogs out there were talking about just the same. Whether we have 10 pounds, 25, 50, 73, 102, 237 or 300 pounds to lose we can all relate to that struggle. Our struggle to find happiness within our own skin. That moment of cringing when we see a photo and thinking we need to change. I didn't realize the amount of inspiration I would find. The lovely people I would meet and relate to.

I didn't realize the community I would find. The community I would learn to love. This is my community. Our community. 

Thank you to each and everyone of you that I have met through this lovely blogisphere! I love this happy place.

Pretend Shopping

Good news! {for me} I get to go home today!! Yay!!

So instead of typing today I'm going to share some Polyvore fun. 

I guess it's going to my new way of indulging while I save up for Grad school. 

No shopping for this gal anymore! {beyond necessities}

Blogger is being a jerk - and making everything left justified. The OCD perfectionist in me is going insane!

Reasons to Love Winter

Winter sucks, but winter fashion... I love.

Yogi Love

I heart me some yoga gear. I seriously would like to win the lottery to Lululemon.

Date Night

I seriously want that TNA sweater BAD... but I'm waiting for it to be a weight loss reward in a smaller size. I  have a gift certificate to help me out!

Have a fantabulous weekend and don't forget to enter my giveaway!

My Body Hates Me

I hurt everywhere.

After my crazy rant of overwhelmingness on Tuesday, I decided not to skip the gym like I had been intending to, and went to hot yoga to calm down. I really was like a Jack in a Box stuck on the last twist ready to jump out of my skin. It was ridiculous.

{source}

Anywho, that class just about murdered me.

I am extremely weak everywhere... it's strange because I'm pretty muscular but my muscles are weak mofos. I used to be able to do like 60 lady push-ups and that's like 20 now if I really really tried, and I doubt I could do 3 or 4 man ones. My abs/core is actually as bad as it gets, I'm sore after one-sit up and my back muscles are so weak that I can't work on my abs because it hurts my back so much. Lunges hurt me and make me never want to move again and don't get me started on squats. Weak muscles... you get the point.

On Tuesday the class was extremely challenging, it was as though the instructor thought, well we've been at this for 3 weeks, they're all of a sudden warriors that can handle anything. Um....no we can't. She made us to 50 bicycle sit-ups and I did like 35-40 of said sit-ups and I still can stand, sit, laugh, eat, cough, move or do anything without grimacing with pain.

Then! Then!

I went and murdered my body some more yesterday. I was already freakin' sore as hell then I went to a Body Combat class with my cousin yesterday. Died.

Now on top of my still very very sore abs, I have sore legs, sore arms and shoulders and sore everything.

Andddd

I'm going to hot yoga again tonight.

Lord help me.

P.S. Don't forget to enter my giveaway for your chance to win $20 to spend on anything at CSN Stores!!

Exploding Brain

*Update Below*

Warning: Do not read this post if you don't feel like taking on my load of crazy overwhelmingness.

I warned you.

Okay so this post is going to be a jumbled mess. I'm serious. Why? Because that is what I am right now.

So in the interest of keeping you somewhat informed and not confused...let's rewind.

Where has Amy been?

On Friday I drove out to my boss's (I don't care to look into proper apostrophe placement right now) house in the country and had a talk about my contract etc. and work for the next while...while she is living down South (nice life right?).

Anywho somewhere within the day she dropped the "You really should do your Masters" bomb on me and I exploded. We had a discussion about how I could do it through a project we've been working on with work (gawd I am so literary today), and how it might not take as long... yadda yadda yadda... she got my brain going and made me start to question everything about the Stats job and whether that really is what is best for me right now. She told me talk to my old professor from school that got me the job and with whom I work with frequently early next week.

Hello early next week!

I went to his office today to talk it all out and figure out my shiz. Basically I am now completely and utterly overwhelmed because I have two weeks to get this application done, and have so much to do, and now I'm trying to comprehend all that just happened. I have two weeks.

Do I want this? Yes I want this.

Do I want this now? Yes I want this now, the timing is perfect.

Can I afford this?  Still wondering on that one...

Will I get in?  My GPA isn't going to get me a scholarship... whether it will get me in is also a question.

Will I have any me time? Or any time at all?

And insert about another bajillion questions and fit that into suddenly having only two weeks to think about it, get recommendation letters and fill out the application... and that's about how I'm feeling right now.

Now if you'll excuse me... I have a hot yoga class to attend to... because if I am going to be going back to school in September I best be at my goal weight because I can't be working, schooling, writing my graduate paper, TAing, and losing weight. Maintaining I can handle.

Oh lordy my life just got messy.

Update: Hot Yoga is awesome and totally calmed my nerves and stopped me from running through a wall. I feel so much better about this decision now... ahhh clarity! Thank you so much for all of your supportive comments! It's going to be a busy couple of weeks... and then a busy couple of years!

love affair part deux

well I hope wee bits returns today - and if it does I'll participate tonight... but I am in a workshop all day so no afternoon post from me - just a scheduled one!

Short and sweet since I should probably be catching up on work {did I mention I hate working from home? Yes, yes I did} and then going to sleep. I finally broke the cursed 1:30am bedtime and tonight it looks like it'll be back while I catch up.

In happy news... since this is the year about me I signed up for Hot Yoga at my gym. Now Hot Yoga is all hot and popular, so they get away with murder by charging redonkulous prices for it... however since I'm already a member at my gym at the location with the new fabulous hot yoga studio you get it for a discount for being a member {hah!!!}.

My choices were as follows:

• $12/class
• $100/10 classes
• $16 biweekly unlimited for the first 100 members that signed up or it hikes up to $18 biweekly or $20. 

Expensive I know, but apparently it's way more elsewhere {It is I checked}.

So I was just planning on spending $100 for the 10 pack, but even still that limits me and makes them still pricey... Have I mentioned I'm in love? Yes, yes I did. I want to go all. the. time.

Then Stewart's sister {who is actually a yoga instructor at said gym} said I wouldn't want to do hot yoga in the summer and I was like wohhhh you're so right so I went back to not justifying the redonkulous overpriced biweekly fee to the 10 pack.

Then! THEN! I found out that the biweekly fee isn't for a year, but 3 months! And I jumped up and down and bought it.

We plan on downgrading our cable anyways {you don't even want to know how much we pay for cable. Now that is the definition of redonkulous} and I'll be saving around that much. No money off my budget. Yippee.

Since this is the year of me and I like to feel amazing. I deserve that.

Tonight {last night} I did a 90 minute class. In love. 

P.S. I totally love that I said the word redonkulous three times {now four} in this post. Amazing.

Oh and since this post needs a picture - here's some Vada love:

P.P.S. I love how I said that this post would be short and sweet at the beginning! Hah!

Life is Good

So you all know how I feel about participating in awards - and am always super duper duper appreciative when I get one; however I don't always participate...unlesssss there is a survey!

So Miss Steph at forget me (not) passed on the Life is Good award to me and I'm forever thankful. Go check out her blog because she is seriously my long lost twin and if you like my blog...you'll like hers. Make sense? Go.

I also received the Stylish Blogger Award from Tress at Jumble Mash, another one of my most favourist (it's a word shush) blogs - and even more so now that I figured out she says pop instead of soda. Go check her out too. Now.

And then come back to me! 

So I'm participating in the Life is Good award - but when I give out the award - you get both because I break the rules and two awards are pretty awesome. Your welcome.

The rules for the Life is Good award:

1. First, thank and link back to the person that gave the award (obviously)
2. Answer the 10 survey questions
3. Pass the award along to other bloggers whom you think are fantastic
4. Contact the bloggers you have chosen to let them know about the award

On to the questions!

1. If you blog anonymously, are you happy doing this? If you aren't anonymous, do you wish you started out anonymously, so that you could be anonymous now?
Well I answered this yesterday - which is pretty funny since I had never seen this question floating around bloggyworld and decided to add it to the WWW questions because I find the answers fascinating. This one is a bit different so I'll answer these questions. 

I started out anonymous - no name, no picture. Then I gave you Amy. Then I gave you a picture. Then I gave you Superman, and finally Stewart. I'm not going to go much farther than that. Not that I think my readers are stalkers or anything, but I just want to keep my life separate and mainly because I don't want someone to google my name and come here. 

Some days I'm having an ultra crap day and I wish I was anonymous and could truly vent. But every other day I enjoy the happy medium.

2. Describe an incident that shows your inner stubborn side.
I'm as stubborn as they come. Once I have an idea in my head I generally won't budge. I won't say this is a good thing, but nobody pushes me around.

3. What do you see when you really look at yourself in the mirror?
I don't really like this question because I think it's just digging for a negative answer. Obviously the answer isn't positive for most people. Is someone actually going to say, "I look in the mirror and think about how amazing and beautiful I look." Wrong. I think it's a lifelong struggle to get to a place when we look in the mirror and see nothing negative. I will say I can recognize when I do look good though and can recognize assets versus the hide and conceal parts of my body.

4. What is your favorite summer cold drink?
Iced tea. Not your American Sweet Tea crap. ICED TEA. There is a big difference. Ours is better. I prefer Nestea...in Canada. The Nestea in the States probably tastes like Sweet Tea too. Yuck.

5. When you take time for yourself, what do you do?
Watch girly movies, read, paint my nails, have a bath, play the Sims (I have refound my love for it recently), nap... I certainly know how to take time for myself and enjoy it.

6. Is there something that you still want to accomplish in your life?
It's just the beginning. There is sooooo much I still want to accomplish. The short list is as follows:
-Get my Masters
-Travel the world
-Write a novel
-Run a marathon
-Get married, and have a family
-Build my own home
-Be sustainably wealthy

7. When you attended high school, were you the class clown, the class overachiever, the shy person, or always ditching?
I don't fall into a category and I haven't seen someone fall into one yet. My high school didn't have cliques. We had groups but for the most part they blended very well. I'll describe myself in high school and you be the judge. My brother was part of the popular partying crowd. I came to school and was introduced to that crowd via my brother and knew all the younger siblings of that crowd too. Hung out with them and tried to find my place in the 9th grade. In Grade 10 I started hanging out with my group, who were in the band. I was never in the band. We were really close. My best friend from public school (still is) hung out in the popular crowd, but more so the 2nd tier of popular people. I had friends from each of these groups. Then I was on Yearbook and on Student Council in the 11th grade with my best friend, and hung out with more of the "Active" students involved in the school. I still partied and hung out with the different crowds - but mainly stayed close to my group (from the band). Today I'm still close with two of the girls within that group and my best friend.

8. If you close your eyes and want to visualize a very poignant moment in your life, what would you see?
I also had to look up poignant and I'm still confused. It's one of those words you see and understand on the surface but when you need to use it leaves you confused. The most poignant moment in my life I'm sure is the moment I found out about my brother. It's engraved in me. It's a flashbulb memory. It's the definition of the world crashing down around you.

9. Is it easy for you to share your true self in your blog, or are you more comfortable writing posts about other people and events?
I never lie on my blog. I'm me. I'm honest and true to myself. Of course there are personal things I won't/can't share on my blog, but you have to draw the line somewhere...however anything I write is 100% true and completely me. 

10. If you had the choice to sit down and read a book or talk on the phone, which would you do and why?
Depends on my mood...and who I get to talk to. I'm not really a phone person but there are a few people I can talk to on the phone for hours. I would generally say read a book though.


Okay now to pass it along...
Meg at O. is Me (because she's awesome)
Lisa at Diary of a Newlywed (because I know she loves a good survey)
Mary G. at a small loss (because I know life really is good right now)

a love affair

While Stewart has been away I feel in love with someone else (shhhh don't tell him). Okay I'm kidding, but I did fall in love with something else. Like head over heals, where have you been all my life in love.

Let's back up a bit first.

Exercise... oh how we have had a love/hate relationship. I love that you make me feel good after, but I hate you while I'm doing it. I have struggled my whole life to find a connection that wasn't there. Sure we've had our moments, but maintaining our relationship on a 3-5 day/week schedule is just consuming, and well, let's face it, would probably let up eventually.

Until now.

I have always loved Body Flow. For those of you that are offered it by your local gyms, go already. It's Tai Chi, Pilates and Yoga ending with a 10-minute relaxation. It's my happy place and a ways for me to reconnect, configure and get there... I would only that if it was enough of a work-out, but I only go about once a week - since I need more.

Until now.

I go to Good Life Fitness... it's a chain of gyms here in Canada and there are about 8 or so in the Ottawa area... most of them are old and outdated. On December 21st a new location opened fairly close to my apartment. As part of this new gym, they have three class studios - the regular fitness, a spinning studio and a...hot yoga studio.

This week they were offering free hot yoga classes. Yup that's right, you have to pay on top of your gym membership to go to these puppies. A whole $12/class more or $18 biweekly. ON TOP OF. Since I've always wanted to try hot yoga and it was free this week, I tried it out on Wednesday with a friend.

Man oh man, I have never sweat so much in my life. I really liked it and wanted to go back again as soon as possible. So we (my friend and I) went back yesterday. And I fell in love. I had never sweat so much in my life Wednesday, and yesterday, I really have never sweat so much in my life.

I'm not going to talk about all the detoxifying benefits of hot yoga - that's what google is for, but oh trust me, when you leave that class (and during) you feel the amazing things it's doing for your body.

I have finally found a form of exercise that I absolutely love, not just get through. So since this is the year of me, I'm going to have to find a way to make this work, because I'm in love, and when you're in love, that's just what you do.

Other love affairs I'm interested in having this year:
-running
-spinning
We'll see how they pan out... three affairs on top of my real relationship might be a little much.

the big purchase

Okay okay I know you're all dying to know {probably not I'm just dying to tell}.

I'm perfectly aware of how much of a loser I am thank-you.

It shouldn't come as a surprise to you that I looked at DSLR prices online everyday...even though sales last a week long. I knew that for the newness of the Nikon D3100 I wasn't going to find a better price than $629.99 in the next couple of months {it's regularly $699.99}.

So yesterday I went to meet my boss to help her pack up her office and she gave me my belated Christmas card. It had a $100 check in it. I was obviously very happy, since last year she gave me half of that. I also got a $94 HST return plopped into my bank account today from the government {thank-you Canada! I still hate you HST!}.

Now at this point I already had $350.00 cash saved and that brought my total to $450 {plus the HST money that I was just going to use for day-to-day stuff}. I also had $350 in savings for my taxes*.Taxes aren't due until April, and I was going to be putting the money aside next week anyway when I get paid and would have had just enough money for the camera.

Now this check just put me in the definitely next week category... but the camera was only on sale until tomorrow at $629.99 at Future Shop. Now for some reason I'm partial to Best Buy, just like I'm partial to Nikon over Canon... no real reason I just am. Get over it. And Best Buy being the better place of the two ...I was going to wait for them to have the same sale. So I went on their website {for the billionth time this week} and remembered their whole "Lowest Price Guarantee"... you know the guarantee that means you get it for the sale price of the other store and they'll give you an additional 10% off the difference.

Now me being the me I am, read that as an additional 10% off of my purchase {upon check-out I realized this only meant an extra $7 off - whatever}. I quickly assumed panic attack mode being alone at home, over an hour away before I could call Stewart. What was I to do!?!?

I started calling Best Buy to see if they even had it in stock, since Boxing Day usually ransacks all of their inventory.

And wouldn't you know out of the four Best Buy's in Ottawa the only one that had only one Nikon D3100 left was located right beside the gym I was about to go to {yes I called them all}.

During this time my dearest mother came online and I explained the situation. Being the helpful advice giver she is {not} she gave me the "I wouldn't spend that kind of money on a camera, my $200 camera works just fine" speech and the, "Just do it because you're going to do it anyway" ...didn't make me feel that much better but  slightly calmed me down. {I love you mom even though you don't understand my need for an expensive camera!}

I was going to do it. The big purchase. At last.

Just as I was putting on my boots and my heart was jumping out of my throat Stewart called. He calmed me down and said "Do it!!!" Since I'm the impulsive spender in this relationship, his green-light meant I better get my butt out the door before the last Nikon D3100 left on Earth was sold.

So I did it. I went to the store and bought it {after the store clerk took what felt like forever to get to me and I guarded the last Nikon D3100 left on Earth}.

I am in love. I don't have any buyers remorse {that almost never happens}.

And I named her Lucy. Don't ask me why, but for some reason the name popped into my head just as I decided I needed to name her, and I pictured Lucy from I Love Lucy. I don't know if that's a good sign...but that's her name.

Anywho I'll be taking lots of pictures, and will be uploading them to flickr, so takes a peak whenever you wish. I failed to get my camera 5 days ago, so I have a hard time starting the 365 challenge 5 days late {it's a weird OCD tendency of mine}... so I don't know if I'm going to do it.

And but of course, my muse {for now} is my darling crack**-addicted kitty Vada.

* I don't pay taxes with my job because it's contract work, so I pay them at the end of the tax season. Very annoying. 
**Crack in the cat world is milk. Seriously she's got issues. That's a post for another day.

Wordless Wednesday

{sheer joy}

Spills and Messes

It appears that aside from 2011 being the year about me, it also is the year of spills {well, just hopefully the week of spills}. I am a klutz. Oh am I ever.

I drop everything and have many bruises that have unknown origins.

I often see the shaking head of Stewart whenever I drop something for no apparent reason other than klutziness.

My cell phone has lots of bumps and bruises.

I digress...on Sunday I was relaxing in my apartment alone {see below} enjoying my solitude while playing The Sims 3 and watching my eight billionth episode of Mad Men simultaneously. I got up to get myself a glass of water and put it down on the table and sat back down.

What did I see?

I had somehow spilled a largish quantity of water on the UIOP{}KL:"M<> region of my keyboard.
I immediately freaked out. Especially since I had just read this post days earlier.

I flipped my computer upside down to try and shake out as much water as possible, wiped it down, and ripped the keys off and Q-tipped out the moisture. It appeared okay, but that region was certainly soaked with water {no sweet clue how it got there}.

My computer hadn't shut down and appeared to be in working order, but just in case I started to back up as many files and photos as possible with the available USB keys I had around.

As time went on my typing was not working. I would type the letter o and it would be oi and backspace apparently meant I wanted to zoom in on the program, and that's just to name a few of the crazies.

I restarted my computer hoping it was just confused from the trauma it just went through.

Upon the restart I tried to enter my password when it appeared that Shift now meant a letter. Shit. No fixy for you.

After finding an on-screen keyboard I continued to back-up and then shut her down and stuck her under a heavily blazing fan for the evening and hoped for the best.

Well, the best happened and she's working like a beauty {or as beautiful as any PC laptop can work - I miss my Mac}.
I need to be supremely careful with my camera when I buy it.

Spill numero uno of the week. Beyond stressful.


Spill numero two... annoyance.

Yesterday I went grocery shopping. Since I'm spending the week alone {see below yet again} I decided to get a big bottle of bubble bath; however spilly year had other plans for me. When I got home I saw that not only had the cap not been screwed on fully, but the bubble bath had covered my entire trunk, bags and some groceries. I grabbed the groceries, closed the trunk and walked away. Not happy.

I really hope it's just been a spilly week for me instead of a foreshadow of the year to come. 


Messes

On Sunday Stewart left for the week {on work training} and I have been experiencing for the first time ever what it feels like to live alone. To be quite honest with you all that live alone, I don't know how you do it. I'm sure for those of you that live alone you're independent people that enjoy your alone time. I for one enjoy some time alone, but I also enjoy people way too much. Human interaction is crucial to my existence {more frequently than most}.

Luckily I've got Vada {not that she cares about me much more than being her milk provider}. While Stewart has been away it's become quite obvious how much he does and contributes to the apartment. In my case I'm realizing just how messy I really am {I knew, but now I know}.

You see, Stewart is a neat freak. I am messy {not dirty - big difference}. Tornado was my nickname growing up. I kid you not.

I get in trouble a lot and often hear "You don't realize how much I clean up after you". Now I do. Granted I'm being less neat than usual, but I am seeing that the boy might be on to something.

During our phone call last night I was explaining my discovery, giving the example of shutting off all the lights at night since I'm always to first to go to sleep. Then I said he must also have noticed how clean the apartment was while I was away at Christmas, and said "because I'm noticing how messy it is while you're away."

His laughter made it apparent that I made his day, and that I have to make sure I make the apartment extra clean for his return on Friday.

new year new starts

Happy New Year!!

Well here we are...2011!

So I was a lazy bum all week, and didn't go to the gym. 

I also ate a crap load of cheesies last night. 

However today when I hopped on the scale I was pleasantly surprised to see this:

It's not where I want to be, but it's better than it was. 

This year is going be great. It is going to be wonderful.

And I am starting it with a nice round number.

I have 50 pounds to lose, and I will not give up. 

I will not enter 2012 without having met this goal.

2011 is the year. 

Can't you all wait until I get my new camera? 

I feel lost without one!

Sorry for the horrible photo, but I couldn't be picky. 

Stewart is busy and I don't have a camera to self time myself.

Soon I will!

Have a wonderful weekend, I'm off to watch Tron!