Happy New Year everyone!
P.S. If you're confused go here.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Told Yah So!
Happy New Year everyone!
P.S. If you're confused go here.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
In like a Lamb and Out like a Lion
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| NYE 2010: Ringing in the New Year right. |
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| May 2-4: The weekend I decided I needed to make a change. |
2009 was a great year. I graduated university, went on vacation to Cuba, landed an amazing entry-level job, got Vada and moved in with Stewart. I bought my first car. All amazing things.
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| May 30: Me and my Ma celebrating my bro's b-day |
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| August: Me and the boy. |
So when I say that 2010 was meh, it's okay. It's okay because it was the pre-cursor to 2011.
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| Christmas card photos for the cards that never came. |
2011 is coming and I couldn't be more excited.
Of course part of this great year will start with the Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge beginning January 3, 2011.
Our plan is to spend NYE having a quiet night of games and champagne. This will be the first year in many that I won't be partying it up on NYE. I think that it'll be a nice way to ring in the New Year and I'm really looking forward to it. I'll enter it like a lamb and come out a lion.
Happy New Year!!
P.S. I was going to do this post tomorrow, but tomorrow I find out about the job, and depending on how that goes this post would likely be written very differently.
The Universe is Sick and Twisted
I suggest as a precursor to this post - you read this one. Take it as like a "Previously On..." for TV shows and you see something that happened a really long time ago, and you think, "Oh! That will be included in this show!"
Why I like to torture myself is a mystery to me. I know myself well after 23 years, and I know that I shouldn't have done it yesterday, but I also know that I wouldn't resist.
Yesterday after telling myself I wouldn't weigh myself until December 31st, I weighed myself. I knew it wouldn't be great but I was secretly hoping my body would cut me some slack since I had been going to the gym while on vacation. I mean common body. Nope.
I had gained 4.6 pounds. At first Mr.Wii Man just shot my BMI up a point or two and I was like "Oh shit that's not good" and I refused to look at the weight and then Stewart was like, just look at it, while standing right there. I kept saying, "Um no, you definitely weigh less than me now". He laughed.
So while I wallowed Mr. Wii Man's favourite person in the whole entire world jumped on the scale...and wouldn't you know it... DOWN 4.6 pounds. Watching Mr. Wii Man dance for him makes me sick.
The universe is sick and twisted. Honestly exactly the same number except one has a plus and the other has a minus!?! Yah, he now weighs approximately 10 pounds less than me. FML. For real.
Now I know you get what you give, and I have to admit that my oh so handsome boyfriend has been working his little ass off while I was snacking on Turtles over the holidays, but sometimes I just want to punch him in the face* (and all men - he's just the one in closest proximity). Men so have it easier. They don't have a cycle that says, "Who the eff cares about your lifestyle and your weight? YOU NEED CHOCOLATE NOW!" and emotions, and everything else that is lovely about being a female that boys have no freaking clue about.
P.S. Don't forget to check out my Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge beginning January 3, 2010, send me an e-mail if you're interested in participating (to be added to the contact for the weekly survey questions)
Why I like to torture myself is a mystery to me. I know myself well after 23 years, and I know that I shouldn't have done it yesterday, but I also know that I wouldn't resist.
Yesterday after telling myself I wouldn't weigh myself until December 31st, I weighed myself. I knew it wouldn't be great but I was secretly hoping my body would cut me some slack since I had been going to the gym while on vacation. I mean common body. Nope.
I had gained 4.6 pounds. At first Mr.Wii Man just shot my BMI up a point or two and I was like "Oh shit that's not good" and I refused to look at the weight and then Stewart was like, just look at it, while standing right there. I kept saying, "Um no, you definitely weigh less than me now". He laughed.
So while I wallowed Mr. Wii Man's favourite person in the whole entire world jumped on the scale...and wouldn't you know it... DOWN 4.6 pounds. Watching Mr. Wii Man dance for him makes me sick.
The universe is sick and twisted. Honestly exactly the same number except one has a plus and the other has a minus!?! Yah, he now weighs approximately 10 pounds less than me. FML. For real.
Now I know you get what you give, and I have to admit that my oh so handsome boyfriend has been working his little ass off while I was snacking on Turtles over the holidays, but sometimes I just want to punch him in the face* (and all men - he's just the one in closest proximity). Men so have it easier. They don't have a cycle that says, "Who the eff cares about your lifestyle and your weight? YOU NEED CHOCOLATE NOW!" and emotions, and everything else that is lovely about being a female that boys have no freaking clue about.
To me it just seems like their road always looks like this:
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| Smooth Sailing Ahead! |
and ours?
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| Haha ladies! Have fun with that! |
I am perfectly aware that Stewart has been trying exponentially harder than me, and that he deserves it all, and I'm very proud of him, but I can't help but be extremely bitter against all men for having it so much easier than us ladies.
Okay I'm done now.
*I don't actually want to punch him in the face. Okay yes I do.**
**But I won't.
P.S. Don't forget to check out my Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge beginning January 3, 2010, send me an e-mail if you're interested in participating (to be added to the contact for the weekly survey questions)
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Is it Friday Yet?
I'm going to post twice today (so sue me)... because I really want to participate in Wee Bits if it happens, and also because I am in serious need of a cryptic vent.
A few months ago I found a job opportunity that was perfect for me. It's exactly what I want. I applied in October and when I hit the submit button it said... Results Available: 2011-04-01. I died a little inside with the idea that not only would I have to wait 6 months but also that I would have to hold off on job searching because I wanted this one that badly. So fast forward to mid-November, and me doing my Application status as my usual weekly, just in case anything changes check.
P.S. Don't forget to check out my Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge beginning January 3, 2010, send me an e-mail if you're interested in participating (to be added to the contact for the weekly survey questions)
A few months ago I found a job opportunity that was perfect for me. It's exactly what I want. I applied in October and when I hit the submit button it said... Results Available: 2011-04-01. I died a little inside with the idea that not only would I have to wait 6 months but also that I would have to hold off on job searching because I wanted this one that badly. So fast forward to mid-November, and me doing my Application status as my usual weekly, just in case anything changes check.
This is what I saw:
I was so excited. I only had to wait a little over a month. Wohoo! Fast forward till now and I'm dying with anticipation... as an aside to all this, let me explain that my job has completed changed in the last few weeks.
This is where I become cryptic because I'm not going to say something that will come back to bite me in the ass. My boss is moving and it's far out of town. So now I have to work from home. Which I'm sure a lot of you would be like YAY! That's awesome. No. No it's not. I hate being alone all the time. I am not disciplined. I am a procrastinator...and something about not being out of the same building as my boss makes her feel less accountable to me... and provides me with way less work. Umm I have bills to pay too you know.
Yah so I rush back to Ottawa this week to come back to work, and I email her to ask where I'm working - and it turns out they already moved and that I have to work from home - something I could have done from home home too.
I'm frustrated...nervous and kind of pissed off. I don't know if I'm going to be making the same amount of money with my non-salary, non-benefit, non-vacation paying job. I don't know if there are going to be enough hours...and I don't know how much longer I can take not knowing what's going on half the time. I just want to be able to rely on the same amount of money going into my bank account every week and not worrying about whether or not I'll have enough to cover all my bills and payments (which unfortunately is where a large portion of my entry-level money goes).
So...is it Friday yet?
P.S. Don't forget to check out my Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge beginning January 3, 2010, send me an e-mail if you're interested in participating (to be added to the contact for the weekly survey questions)
Monday, December 27, 2010
Out of Routine
I know I know I have completely disappeared. I am still at home and have had very little motivation to post. I hope you all had yourselves a fabulous Christmas! My Christmas was amazing. The only downside is that my Shutterfly cards that I paid $20 shipping did not come before Christmas. I am really not impressed at all that I had to go out and get cards on Christmas Eve. I realize they were $100 worth of free cards, but I did pay $20 for shipping, and what is the point of a Christmas card after Christmas?!? It's not like I can use them next year since the photos will be over a year old.
I am heading back to Ottawa tomorrow and feel very bittersweet about it. I would love to stay home {or close to home} forever, but I am looking forward to getting back to my routine {minus work}. I have been very bad and unable to resist the chocolates, cookies and crap floating around post-Christmas. I definitely ate like 5 8 Turtles yesterday. Luckily I have been keeping up with the gym. I am glad I have a few days of good eating before I have to update you {and myself} on the scale number. I don't feel like I've gained a lot or anything, but I can't promise you anything. It could potentially be very depressing.
I am really start to look forward to starting the Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge {there are 11 of us in total now in case fellow Challengers are wondering!}. I am in serious need of structure and goals right now!
Anyways I have to finish packing and do some work {the only way I could stay home for an extra day}. Back to the regular scheduled programming on Wednesday...I promise!
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| Stewart and I - Boxing Day |
I am really start to look forward to starting the Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge {there are 11 of us in total now in case fellow Challengers are wondering!}. I am in serious need of structure and goals right now!
Anyways I have to finish packing and do some work {the only way I could stay home for an extra day}. Back to the regular scheduled programming on Wednesday...I promise!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Hometowns
Whenever I'm home I get homesick, it's funny how that happens. When I am living my separate life in the city, I miss home, but I don't often get homesick. I wish I could visit more, and be around more, but I don't really get sad. Then I get here and I just feel sad. I want to be here all the time and stay forever.
There is something magical about my hometown. Every time I come back home I see it more. I never want to leave. The best part about home is not only the natural breath taking beauty, but the people. Of course every town has their own abundance of idiots, and in our case the tourists we call citidiots... but my town has so many wonderful people that are all the same in some way. We all appreciate and love our town.
Last night I went over to my best friend Katie's sister's for a mini-Christmas Eve-eve party and had so much fun. I don't know her sisters friends that well, but like any people from our town, you immediately feel like you've known each other for years and get along great. I love that.
I have this theory about people sticking with people from our town. Stewart shares the same deep roots in our town, and I think that is one huge bond we share. I have so many friends that have dated their fair share of citidiots and other people from other towns, but eventually ended up with someone from our town {or in Katie's case with someone from a small town equally as cool}. People from elsewhere just don't get it.
If I could move home I would. Unfortunately that's the crappy thing about small towns... you have to leave to be successful, of course you can come back {like many do}, but you have to leave to get an education and your career started. I can't exactly be a researcher here...but I would find something I could do {just have to wait until Stewart is far enough along in his career to do so}.
Anyways I am missing out on all the action outside, when I should be taking as much advantage of home as possible while I can.
I wish you all the merriest Christmas and I hope you enjoy your time with your family and friends!
P.S. Don't forget to check out my Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge beginning January 3, 2010, send me an e-mail if you're interested in participating (to be added to the contact for the weekly survey questions)
There is something magical about my hometown. Every time I come back home I see it more. I never want to leave. The best part about home is not only the natural breath taking beauty, but the people. Of course every town has their own abundance of idiots, and in our case the tourists we call citidiots... but my town has so many wonderful people that are all the same in some way. We all appreciate and love our town.
Last night I went over to my best friend Katie's sister's for a mini-Christmas Eve-eve party and had so much fun. I don't know her sisters friends that well, but like any people from our town, you immediately feel like you've known each other for years and get along great. I love that.
I have this theory about people sticking with people from our town. Stewart shares the same deep roots in our town, and I think that is one huge bond we share. I have so many friends that have dated their fair share of citidiots and other people from other towns, but eventually ended up with someone from our town {or in Katie's case with someone from a small town equally as cool}. People from elsewhere just don't get it.
If I could move home I would. Unfortunately that's the crappy thing about small towns... you have to leave to be successful, of course you can come back {like many do}, but you have to leave to get an education and your career started. I can't exactly be a researcher here...but I would find something I could do {just have to wait until Stewart is far enough along in his career to do so}.
Anyways I am missing out on all the action outside, when I should be taking as much advantage of home as possible while I can.
I wish you all the merriest Christmas and I hope you enjoy your time with your family and friends!
P.S. Don't forget to check out my Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge beginning January 3, 2010, send me an e-mail if you're interested in participating (to be added to the contact for the weekly survey questions)
Monday, December 20, 2010
lunar eclipse
Whenever people ask me what decade I would choose to live my 20s in I reply the 60s/70s. I like to think of myself as a hippie at heart. I often have said I'm more of a spiritual person than religious, and I will always get more out of going for a nature walk then spending an hour in a Church. I have absolutely no judgement or nothing against those that are religious - as I was raised Catholic, and have religious relatives; however somewhere along the way in University I stopped feeling any connection to religion, and started to feel more whole inside and found my connection by looking inward and to the natural beauty in life. Anyways, just a forerunner as I really am not getting into a religious debate on my blog.
Tonight {technically tomorrow} is a full lunar eclipse. For the first time since the 1600s this full lunar eclipse is occurring on the Winter Solstice {this will not occur again until 2401}. I think this event is beyond amazing, and I felt the need to do something about it. As part of the Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge one of my goals {full list will not be revealed until the first day} is about journaling. Obviously being a person drawn to writing, I keep a journal. I get a lot out of it, yet have never been consistent with it. As part of the challenge I am going to commit to journaling more. One of my Aunt's is hugely into journaling. She fills a journal every three months, reflects on her lessons learned in another journal, and then burns the recently filled one.
Last night we had our family Christmas for my Mom's side of the family, and that Aunt got me a book called The Creative Journal: The Art of Finding Yourself
. I am so excited about this book, and think it will be a lovely addition to my winter goal. My Aunt also journals according to the moon cycle, on a New Moon she writes her intentions and on the Full Moon she writes a reflection. So tonight, I went out and bought a new journal, since I intended on getting a new one for the challenge, and because my other one is back in Ottawa and intend on write a reflective piece on this past year.
Do you journal? If so, what type of journaling do you do?
Home is great - I spent Saturday with my Dad's side of the family, and last night with my Mom's. We did our family Christmases and on actual Christmas we're keeping it low key. I ate like crap all weekend, and will strive to have an immaculate gym filled week. I need to avoid the appetizers, cookies {ohhhh the cookies} and everything else that works against me.
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| {source} |
Last night we had our family Christmas for my Mom's side of the family, and that Aunt got me a book called The Creative Journal: The Art of Finding Yourself
. I am so excited about this book, and think it will be a lovely addition to my winter goal. My Aunt also journals according to the moon cycle, on a New Moon she writes her intentions and on the Full Moon she writes a reflection. So tonight, I went out and bought a new journal, since I intended on getting a new one for the challenge, and because my other one is back in Ottawa and intend on write a reflective piece on this past year.Do you journal? If so, what type of journaling do you do?
Home is great - I spent Saturday with my Dad's side of the family, and last night with my Mom's. We did our family Christmases and on actual Christmas we're keeping it low key. I ate like crap all weekend, and will strive to have an immaculate gym filled week. I need to avoid the appetizers, cookies {ohhhh the cookies} and everything else that works against me.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Hitting the Highway
I never got the chance to do a road-themed update on my week yesterday, but the fact that I didn't update should indicate to you that I'm traveling on a high speed highway at the moment, and this week has just been crazy. I have had so many plans and stuff to do that I never got the chance to stop and think about what to write.
Anyways, I am about to hit the road home in a couple of hours - and still haven't packed or left work... so I best be getting on all that, so I can actually hit the real highway before it gets dark (at like 3:30) and get home!
I will be around next week, I can't promise consistency, but I'll be around - who knows maybe I'll get bored and post everyday, anything is possible!
For those of you that won't be around, I hope you have yourselves a fabulous Christmas!
P.S. Don't forget to check out my Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge beginning January 3, 2010, send me an e-mail if you're interested in participating (to be added to the contact for the weekly survey questions)
P.P.S. 99 followers? Craziness!! I love you all! (anyone else start singing Jay-Z in their heads when ever they say 99?)
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| {source} |
Anyways, I am about to hit the road home in a couple of hours - and still haven't packed or left work... so I best be getting on all that, so I can actually hit the real highway before it gets dark (at like 3:30) and get home!
I will be around next week, I can't promise consistency, but I'll be around - who knows maybe I'll get bored and post everyday, anything is possible!
For those of you that won't be around, I hope you have yourselves a fabulous Christmas!
P.S. Don't forget to check out my Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge beginning January 3, 2010, send me an e-mail if you're interested in participating (to be added to the contact for the weekly survey questions)
P.P.S. 99 followers? Craziness!! I love you all! (anyone else start singing Jay-Z in their heads when ever they say 99?)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Sorting it out (in my head)
Do you ever have a really bad day and find it close to impossible to be inspired to write something remotely decent? That's how I feel today, and instead of not posting anything I'm hoping that my blog, which has become such a safe haven for me and positive place to go to, will help make my day better.
I promise I'm not writing to get a bunch of "I hope your day gets better" comments, because I'm not. I just feel like sometimes you get in a funk with your feelings and you need to sort them out. I have always been a writer. I haven't published work, nor am I professional or extraordinary at it, but I that is who I am. When I am happy, sad or anything in between I express myself best with the written word.
I'm not going to go into detail about why I am upset today because the details really don't make a difference in why I'm writing this.
I have always been a worrisome and anxious person. I cry over the simple and complex.
When my brother died three and a half years ago this all became amplified. I began to worry about everything and anything. I fear the ridiculous. This is in huge part the reason why I found myself not sleeping over the prospect of Vada's little thousands-of-times-a-day surgery a huge feat for me. I am incredibly afraid of loss. I honestly don't know if I could do it again.
The more I try to work through the kinks in my brain the more I realize that I worry and fear in order to not feel blind sighted if something bad happens again. The amount of times I have replayed the moment of finding out my brother was killed is insurmountable. The moment is vivid, and etched in my brain (it's called a flashbulb memory).
Over the last three and a half years I have made a lot of progress towards feeling like myself again; however within this time I have gained a lot of weight and returned to the insecure 16 year old I once was in many ways. We all have our bag of hammers and nobody is perfect. We all have "issues" and things that make us tick.
Sometimes despite my progress, rational thought (of what I have) and common sense I return back to this state of weakness. Call what you will, I will refer to it as weakness. I feel like my grief and insecurities overlap and hit me together. I feel brittle and frozen, and could easily snap into an emotional havoc. When I enter this place, my mood can 180 in an instant. I can be having a wonderful day, but the smallest trigger will change it all.
I don't believe that I'm depressed or I need medication - I'm merely a human that has been through a trauma in my life and sometimes it's difficult to remain in balance. Sometimes we get sad - and that is human. We should not feel guilty or medicate over something that is natural.
The last couple of weeks I have felt this funk. I have been so easily placed into this anxious, and worried state. I cry over nothing - and for some reason when I get in this state I miss my brother. I return to that place. When I'm sad or confused I wish I could talk to him and hear his opinion. I wish I could have his worry and care-free zest for life. Something that often got him in trouble, but something that also left him to be oh so very admirable.
I stare at his pictures and find it harder to remember his voice. I feel lonely at these times. I feel the loss of a sibling - my counterpart in life. I am not an only child, but it's only me.
The Christmas season is a very hard time. Seeing siblings together triggers jealously and sadness. One of my only connections I get is when I find a single shiny silver dime on the floor/ground (which I have done today) and for a moment I get that connection and know he's there for me. In silence, but there. He's a warm blanket in the cold of the night.
Life is tough and will never be easy. It's not a smooth ride. We have this journey that is full of dead-ends, wrong turns, bumpy roads, obstacles and traffic jams. Sometimes we have to turn around and do an entire part over again. Sometimes we get uprooted and thrown into unmarked and unknown territory. Of course sometimes the road is smooth and beautiful or windy and fun. That's life. You never know what's around the next corner.
Today, I hope that the next corner will be a little more positive.
...and for the record, that did make me feel better.
I promise I'm not writing to get a bunch of "I hope your day gets better" comments, because I'm not. I just feel like sometimes you get in a funk with your feelings and you need to sort them out. I have always been a writer. I haven't published work, nor am I professional or extraordinary at it, but I that is who I am. When I am happy, sad or anything in between I express myself best with the written word.
I'm not going to go into detail about why I am upset today because the details really don't make a difference in why I'm writing this.
I have always been a worrisome and anxious person. I cry over the simple and complex.
When my brother died three and a half years ago this all became amplified. I began to worry about everything and anything. I fear the ridiculous. This is in huge part the reason why I found myself not sleeping over the prospect of Vada's little thousands-of-times-a-day surgery a huge feat for me. I am incredibly afraid of loss. I honestly don't know if I could do it again.
The more I try to work through the kinks in my brain the more I realize that I worry and fear in order to not feel blind sighted if something bad happens again. The amount of times I have replayed the moment of finding out my brother was killed is insurmountable. The moment is vivid, and etched in my brain (it's called a flashbulb memory).
Over the last three and a half years I have made a lot of progress towards feeling like myself again; however within this time I have gained a lot of weight and returned to the insecure 16 year old I once was in many ways. We all have our bag of hammers and nobody is perfect. We all have "issues" and things that make us tick.
Sometimes despite my progress, rational thought (of what I have) and common sense I return back to this state of weakness. Call what you will, I will refer to it as weakness. I feel like my grief and insecurities overlap and hit me together. I feel brittle and frozen, and could easily snap into an emotional havoc. When I enter this place, my mood can 180 in an instant. I can be having a wonderful day, but the smallest trigger will change it all.
I don't believe that I'm depressed or I need medication - I'm merely a human that has been through a trauma in my life and sometimes it's difficult to remain in balance. Sometimes we get sad - and that is human. We should not feel guilty or medicate over something that is natural.
The last couple of weeks I have felt this funk. I have been so easily placed into this anxious, and worried state. I cry over nothing - and for some reason when I get in this state I miss my brother. I return to that place. When I'm sad or confused I wish I could talk to him and hear his opinion. I wish I could have his worry and care-free zest for life. Something that often got him in trouble, but something that also left him to be oh so very admirable.
I stare at his pictures and find it harder to remember his voice. I feel lonely at these times. I feel the loss of a sibling - my counterpart in life. I am not an only child, but it's only me.
The Christmas season is a very hard time. Seeing siblings together triggers jealously and sadness. One of my only connections I get is when I find a single shiny silver dime on the floor/ground (which I have done today) and for a moment I get that connection and know he's there for me. In silence, but there. He's a warm blanket in the cold of the night.
Life is tough and will never be easy. It's not a smooth ride. We have this journey that is full of dead-ends, wrong turns, bumpy roads, obstacles and traffic jams. Sometimes we have to turn around and do an entire part over again. Sometimes we get uprooted and thrown into unmarked and unknown territory. Of course sometimes the road is smooth and beautiful or windy and fun. That's life. You never know what's around the next corner.
Today, I hope that the next corner will be a little more positive.
...and for the record, that did make me feel better.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Leave it to Humans
*Update below*
I have said/argued before {not in my blog, but elsewhere} that controlling food, "dieting" and losing weight is more difficult than quitting smoking. Now now before we get into a whole debacle of a debate, this isn't the point of the post, it's more of a preclude. I think that quitting something cold turkey and never having to be around it again would be much easier than something that is essential to your survival. You can't quit food. You have to choose the the right foods and when you're busy or in a hurry, you can't just skip/quit food, you need it. It's essential to your survival. {Please note I have never even had a drag of a cigarette in my life so I'm not down talking anyone who has tried to quit smoking, I realize it's very difficult}
So... leave it to us humans to make food more than it is - fuel. Oh lordy, do I ever have my issues with food, and I don't mean it in the whole I need therapy because of my issues with food way {well, maybe I do} but in the I have issues with food way.
Let me explain. I am picky...and when I say picky, I mean p.i.c.k.y.
I kind of blame my mom for this {sorry Mom!} but she is the pickiest eater I know. We have completely different eating habits, but ever since I was little I have known that if you don't like it, you don't have to eat it. My mom will turn her nose up to pretty much every single vegetable {particularly peas}. She pretty much only likes lettuce, carrots, celery, cucumbers and potatoes. Now she is very responsible and healthy since she downs a disgusting green liquid thing every morning to make up for this pickiness. Anyways another preclude to my pickiness.
My mom is a fantabulous cook. She makes the most delicious dinners ever. In running her own business, keeping the house in order {50s style, the Mom that did it all} she always had dinner on the table and we sat down as a family together every. single. night. It's honestly one of my greatest childhood treasures that I will hold close to my heart for the rest of my life {and will do with my own family one day}.
When I was little I hated beef. Hated. My dad came from the family that you had to eat everything on your plate, no ifs, ands or buts. Well, so did my mom. The only difference is my dad liked the food, and my mom would try and eat her turnip by mixing it with her lovely potatoes only to have a bigger mound of disgustingness. I would sit there each night with beef being the only thing left on my plate for a good long while after everyone was done. My dad wouldn't let me leave the table until I ate it. By this time it was cold, and I hate cold supposed to be hot food, and I would have to eat it - no matter how much whining or tears came out of me.
My mom hated this because she used to feel the exact same. When I was in the fifth grade I felt I was old enough to say, NO MORE! and stopped eating red meat {including Pork because I didn't want to be extra confusing}. Enter my mom making me a separate meal pretty much every night {thanks for understanding Ma!}. This lasted until first year university when I reintroduced bacon into my life, and never looked back {in the bacon sense of things}.
I still hate beef. So given this pickiness to beef, and other foods too, I have always felt anxious and uncomfortable going to other peoples homes for dinner. Plus, nobody cooks better than my mom {for real}.
I have a crazy tale about this stewy cat-food looking meal that I tried to get through at Stewart's Nana's home once that was just as painful for me as it was funny for Stewart.
I usually warn people about my pickiness and they understand and make chicken when I'm coming.
However, culturally we cannot avoid the fact that food is a huge part of our lives. Humans have made it mean something more than fuel. Holidays are about the food, birthdays are about cake, and pretty much anything we celebrate, mourn or anything we do it with food. Although, Western society generally understands when you say, um no thanks I don't eat that.
Other cultures however have deep rooted connections to food. Particularly Aboriginals. With my work we work with an Inuit organization and today I have to go to an open house.
My boss just informed me that I had to eat the food available as it would be highly disrespectful to not. She said, that's just life, you have to do it. To which I want to reply, but I'm vegetarian! Even though she knows I'm not. So this afternoon I'm going to have to try some sort of cultural food that will likely involve foods I have never been remotely introduced to, including caribou, whale, other fishies, and lord knows what else.
I want to say that I have a deep amount of respect for Inuit people, and I will eat the food {selected carefully to be as close as possible to what I would normally eat} out of respect. I understand their deep connections and respect for their food... I'm just...picky and am getting way too anxious over the minute fact that I have to eat something I've never eaten before and that something is a meat that I've never eaten.
*Crisis adverted. Other food was available! I was thisclose to having to eat caribou stew, but likely thanks to my super awkwardness I somehow avoided it and ate veggies and cheese!*
P.S. Don't forget to check out my Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge beginning January 3, 2010, send me an e-mail if you're interested in participating (to be added to the contact for the weekly survey questions)
I have said/argued before {not in my blog, but elsewhere} that controlling food, "dieting" and losing weight is more difficult than quitting smoking. Now now before we get into a whole debacle of a debate, this isn't the point of the post, it's more of a preclude. I think that quitting something cold turkey and never having to be around it again would be much easier than something that is essential to your survival. You can't quit food. You have to choose the the right foods and when you're busy or in a hurry, you can't just skip/quit food, you need it. It's essential to your survival. {Please note I have never even had a drag of a cigarette in my life so I'm not down talking anyone who has tried to quit smoking, I realize it's very difficult}
So... leave it to us humans to make food more than it is - fuel. Oh lordy, do I ever have my issues with food, and I don't mean it in the whole I need therapy because of my issues with food way {well, maybe I do} but in the I have issues with food way.
 |
| {source} |
I kind of blame my mom for this {sorry Mom!} but she is the pickiest eater I know. We have completely different eating habits, but ever since I was little I have known that if you don't like it, you don't have to eat it. My mom will turn her nose up to pretty much every single vegetable {particularly peas}. She pretty much only likes lettuce, carrots, celery, cucumbers and potatoes. Now she is very responsible and healthy since she downs a disgusting green liquid thing every morning to make up for this pickiness. Anyways another preclude to my pickiness.
My mom is a fantabulous cook. She makes the most delicious dinners ever. In running her own business, keeping the house in order {50s style, the Mom that did it all} she always had dinner on the table and we sat down as a family together every. single. night. It's honestly one of my greatest childhood treasures that I will hold close to my heart for the rest of my life {and will do with my own family one day}.
When I was little I hated beef. Hated. My dad came from the family that you had to eat everything on your plate, no ifs, ands or buts. Well, so did my mom. The only difference is my dad liked the food, and my mom would try and eat her turnip by mixing it with her lovely potatoes only to have a bigger mound of disgustingness. I would sit there each night with beef being the only thing left on my plate for a good long while after everyone was done. My dad wouldn't let me leave the table until I ate it. By this time it was cold, and I hate cold supposed to be hot food, and I would have to eat it - no matter how much whining or tears came out of me.
My mom hated this because she used to feel the exact same. When I was in the fifth grade I felt I was old enough to say, NO MORE! and stopped eating red meat {including Pork because I didn't want to be extra confusing}. Enter my mom making me a separate meal pretty much every night {thanks for understanding Ma!}. This lasted until first year university when I reintroduced bacon into my life, and never looked back {in the bacon sense of things}.
I still hate beef. So given this pickiness to beef, and other foods too, I have always felt anxious and uncomfortable going to other peoples homes for dinner. Plus, nobody cooks better than my mom {for real}.
I have a crazy tale about this stewy cat-food looking meal that I tried to get through at Stewart's Nana's home once that was just as painful for me as it was funny for Stewart.
I usually warn people about my pickiness and they understand and make chicken when I'm coming.
However, culturally we cannot avoid the fact that food is a huge part of our lives. Humans have made it mean something more than fuel. Holidays are about the food, birthdays are about cake, and pretty much anything we celebrate, mourn or anything we do it with food. Although, Western society generally understands when you say, um no thanks I don't eat that.
Other cultures however have deep rooted connections to food. Particularly Aboriginals. With my work we work with an Inuit organization and today I have to go to an open house.
My boss just informed me that I had to eat the food available as it would be highly disrespectful to not. She said, that's just life, you have to do it. To which I want to reply, but I'm vegetarian! Even though she knows I'm not. So this afternoon I'm going to have to try some sort of cultural food that will likely involve foods I have never been remotely introduced to, including caribou, whale, other fishies, and lord knows what else.
I want to say that I have a deep amount of respect for Inuit people, and I will eat the food {selected carefully to be as close as possible to what I would normally eat} out of respect. I understand their deep connections and respect for their food... I'm just...picky and am getting way too anxious over the minute fact that I have to eat something I've never eaten before and that something is a meat that I've never eaten.
*Crisis adverted. Other food was available! I was thisclose to having to eat caribou stew, but likely thanks to my super awkwardness I somehow avoided it and ate veggies and cheese!*
P.S. Don't forget to check out my Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge beginning January 3, 2010, send me an e-mail if you're interested in participating (to be added to the contact for the weekly survey questions)
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Roads Bleh.
Okay, so since the beginning of November {um, wasn't that yesterday?} I have been doing mid-weekly updates for the most part on Thursday's. If you may or may not have noticed, I have cleverly {or not so much} been going with a road theme, since you know I'm all about the journey, and I like to think of life as a road, yadda yadda bleh. So today I went on my search for a road picture that kind of reflected how I'm feeling today.
What was my search strategy?
hilly road
big hill road
food on side of road
dead end road
As you may gather, I am not feeling it today. I have said it before {I think} that I can often feel when I have gained weight. It's just a feeling, and I know when I'm losing or gaining. This morning I felt that horrible gaining feeling. You see, I was feeling very uninspired yesterday and found myself lazy grazing and not sticking to the plan {I love the plan}
Tuesday's dinner was planned as turkey tacos. Stewart and I have been obsessively having these once a week for the past few weeks. This week however went a little differently. Since I generally have made Stewart {not made, but living with naturally not in fridge made} have a beefless diet. Every once in a while he goes all bananas and needs beef, so we buy it. So this week, instead of turkey tacos for us one night, we bought one thing of ground turkey and another of ground beef and made both on Tuesday.
Tuesday night I ate my turkey tacos and instead of devouring them with the same love I had in previous weeks, I struggled, and felt like I was going to vomit the remainder of the night and saying, "No more tacos... for at least a year... gahrrrrr". I overdo it. Right now I'm in an overdoing caesar salad {you can't stop me till it's overdone, I think I might have it for lunch}. I get on these kicks and then eat it all the time until I say "I can't do it anymore".
Back to yesterday. So yesterday I was supposed to eat leftover tacos, because on Sunday when I planned my week, tacos two days in a row sounded like a miraculous idea {yay! tacos!}. I can't predict these things, but come Wednesday {yesterday} the word taco makes me want to bleh.
Yesterday I worked from home, since I needed to keep a close eye on Vada. In order to bribe Stewart out of bed in the morning {oh how I miss thee student life} I told him I would make him breakfast after picking up Vada. He wanted French toast. So, I had a syrupy breakfast. It wasn't bad since I had only one slice with more berries than syrup. Roll around 3:00 and while working I didn't feel like working or making food so I took a break, played some serious DK {the cliff world is so hard!} and ate a Lipton Sidekicks for lunch {yah I realize it's supposed to be a side}, I really wanted KD {did you realize too that DK and KD are the same but different}, but all I had was Sidekicks that were in the cupboard from a long time ago {pre-November change}.
I also had hot chocolate with at least 8 marshmallows {unfortunately I'm not talking about baby marshmallows - they were in with the camping gear}.
Dinner rolled around and so I had a chicken caesar salad {first healthy choice of the day! Yay! Shush caesar salad is good for you}. I also ate popcorn and drank orange juice later at night.
So now you see why I feel so bleh today. Oh, and I missed the gym. {insert roll eyes at me}
So what road picture did I choose today?
I think it suits me well for today. I appear to have come to a fork in my road {yes I realize that's not exactly a fork, but I like the picture - gawd you're giving me a hard time today}. The choice is up to me. I can choose to be all woe is me {I would like to choose this part of option one please} and succumb to defeat and stop having progress and just plateau again because apparently I'm very good at that or I can get up, dust myself off and work like a mofo over the next week and a bit before I go home for Christmas, then go home, and work like a mofo there too because I don't really have anything better to do.
We all know what I'm going to do {if you thought I chose defeat, you can X out now}.
Tonight I'm going to go to the gym to burn a bajillion calories {or the most humanly possible calories within an hour} and then I'm going to go home and return to the regular scheduled programming of dinner {chicken stirfry}.
I will not accept defeat because this is my life, and I deserve it to be the best it can be.
P.S. Don't forget to check out my Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge beginning January 3, 2010, send me an e-mail if you're interested in participating (to be added to the contact for the weekly survey questions)
What was my search strategy?
hilly road
big hill road
food on side of road
dead end road
As you may gather, I am not feeling it today. I have said it before {I think} that I can often feel when I have gained weight. It's just a feeling, and I know when I'm losing or gaining. This morning I felt that horrible gaining feeling. You see, I was feeling very uninspired yesterday and found myself lazy grazing and not sticking to the plan {I love the plan}
Tuesday's dinner was planned as turkey tacos. Stewart and I have been obsessively having these once a week for the past few weeks. This week however went a little differently. Since I generally have made Stewart {not made, but living with naturally not in fridge made} have a beefless diet. Every once in a while he goes all bananas and needs beef, so we buy it. So this week, instead of turkey tacos for us one night, we bought one thing of ground turkey and another of ground beef and made both on Tuesday.
Tuesday night I ate my turkey tacos and instead of devouring them with the same love I had in previous weeks, I struggled, and felt like I was going to vomit the remainder of the night and saying, "No more tacos... for at least a year... gahrrrrr". I overdo it. Right now I'm in an overdoing caesar salad {you can't stop me till it's overdone, I think I might have it for lunch}. I get on these kicks and then eat it all the time until I say "I can't do it anymore".
Back to yesterday. So yesterday I was supposed to eat leftover tacos, because on Sunday when I planned my week, tacos two days in a row sounded like a miraculous idea {yay! tacos!}. I can't predict these things, but come Wednesday {yesterday} the word taco makes me want to bleh.
Yesterday I worked from home, since I needed to keep a close eye on Vada. In order to bribe Stewart out of bed in the morning {oh how I miss thee student life} I told him I would make him breakfast after picking up Vada. He wanted French toast. So, I had a syrupy breakfast. It wasn't bad since I had only one slice with more berries than syrup. Roll around 3:00 and while working I didn't feel like working or making food so I took a break, played some serious DK {the cliff world is so hard!} and ate a Lipton Sidekicks for lunch {yah I realize it's supposed to be a side}, I really wanted KD {did you realize too that DK and KD are the same but different}, but all I had was Sidekicks that were in the cupboard from a long time ago {pre-November change}.
I also had hot chocolate with at least 8 marshmallows {unfortunately I'm not talking about baby marshmallows - they were in with the camping gear}.
Dinner rolled around and so I had a chicken caesar salad {first healthy choice of the day! Yay! Shush caesar salad is good for you}. I also ate popcorn and drank orange juice later at night.
So now you see why I feel so bleh today. Oh, and I missed the gym. {insert roll eyes at me}
So what road picture did I choose today?
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| {source} |
I think it suits me well for today. I appear to have come to a fork in my road {yes I realize that's not exactly a fork, but I like the picture - gawd you're giving me a hard time today}. The choice is up to me. I can choose to be all woe is me {I would like to choose this part of option one please} and succumb to defeat and stop having progress and just plateau again because apparently I'm very good at that or I can get up, dust myself off and work like a mofo over the next week and a bit before I go home for Christmas, then go home, and work like a mofo there too because I don't really have anything better to do.
We all know what I'm going to do {if you thought I chose defeat, you can X out now}.
Tonight I'm going to go to the gym to burn a bajillion calories {or the most humanly possible calories within an hour} and then I'm going to go home and return to the regular scheduled programming of dinner {chicken stirfry}.
I will not accept defeat because this is my life, and I deserve it to be the best it can be.
P.S. Don't forget to check out my Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge beginning January 3, 2010, send me an e-mail if you're interested in participating (to be added to the contact for the weekly survey questions)
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
The Post-Surgery Update
Hi all - I forgot all of you don't have Twitter, and some of you might be wondering how the little lady is doing.
This morning I woke up at 6:30am to a very hungry meowing kitty. I knew right away that my next precious hour of sleep I had left was not going to be the greatest. She eventually took a little nap on her blankie (which is located on a pillow above my pillow in bed. The second I got up she was at my feet, trying to tell me that I may or may not of noticed that her food dish that is always there has disappeared and she was hungry (no food after midnight pre-surgery). I avoided the kitchen the entire time I got ready (which was very quickly to avoid all the meowing), put her in the cage and hopped out the door.
At 8:30am we arrived at the vet and checked in, she got weighed (3.4 kg or 7.5 pounds) and the vet lady took her away. I think she could sense how immensely nervous I was because when she returned and answered my million questions, she brought me back to see where her little home would be for the next 26ish hours and I put her blankie in the cage with her. Seeing her very comfortable and not freaking out made me super comfortable, and the girl was very nice (even though I knew she thought I was 100% wacko).
I definitely did not feel comfortable leaving her without her blankie since she has slept with it every single day of her life since we've gotten her. The only time she ever purrs is when she is on that blankie. I knew as long as she had it with her she would be comfortable being in a strange metal cage with weird animal smells coming at her from all angles.
I went home fully expecting to be worrying all day and not hearing from them until later in the afternoon, since the receptionist told me they spayed later in the day because all of the males need to be done first since they go home that day (not fair).
At 11:30am the phone rang with the good news that the surgery went very well and that she was waking up. I get to pick her up tomorrow morning and I couldn't be more relieved!
Thanks again for all the comforting tweets and comments, and not calling me crazy (which Stewart definitely has done).
P.S. Don't forget to check out my Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge beginning January 3, 2011, send me an e-mail if you're interested in participating (to be added to the contact for the weekly survey questions)
This morning I woke up at 6:30am to a very hungry meowing kitty. I knew right away that my next precious hour of sleep I had left was not going to be the greatest. She eventually took a little nap on her blankie (which is located on a pillow above my pillow in bed. The second I got up she was at my feet, trying to tell me that I may or may not of noticed that her food dish that is always there has disappeared and she was hungry (no food after midnight pre-surgery). I avoided the kitchen the entire time I got ready (which was very quickly to avoid all the meowing), put her in the cage and hopped out the door.
At 8:30am we arrived at the vet and checked in, she got weighed (3.4 kg or 7.5 pounds) and the vet lady took her away. I think she could sense how immensely nervous I was because when she returned and answered my million questions, she brought me back to see where her little home would be for the next 26ish hours and I put her blankie in the cage with her. Seeing her very comfortable and not freaking out made me super comfortable, and the girl was very nice (even though I knew she thought I was 100% wacko).
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| us in the car in October |
I definitely did not feel comfortable leaving her without her blankie since she has slept with it every single day of her life since we've gotten her. The only time she ever purrs is when she is on that blankie. I knew as long as she had it with her she would be comfortable being in a strange metal cage with weird animal smells coming at her from all angles.
I went home fully expecting to be worrying all day and not hearing from them until later in the afternoon, since the receptionist told me they spayed later in the day because all of the males need to be done first since they go home that day (not fair).
At 11:30am the phone rang with the good news that the surgery went very well and that she was waking up. I get to pick her up tomorrow morning and I couldn't be more relieved!
Thanks again for all the comforting tweets and comments, and not calling me crazy (which Stewart definitely has done).
P.S. Don't forget to check out my Winter Wonderland Warriors challenge beginning January 3, 2011, send me an e-mail if you're interested in participating (to be added to the contact for the weekly survey questions)
Monday, December 6, 2010
Cookie Monster
First of all, thanks for all the pre-surgery love comments on the last post there. I certainly am beyond nervous for her surgery for more than one thousand reasons, in fearing the worst every time. It's not that I'm a pessimist, I don't believe something bad will happen, I'm just terrified about what I'd do if something did. I'm also nervous about her sleeping in some foreign place...luckily I talked to them today and she can bring her blankie (gawd I am making myself sound like such a freak, yes she has a blankie).
As I was driving into work today I couldn't help but thinking (cue the researcher in me) about how the fact that as a society we're having children later and later in life. At my age, my mom either was pregnant with my brother or had him already (don't feel like doing the math). I got to thinking that if a study were done comparing women in their twenties relationships to their pets versus women in our parent's generations relationships to their pets, I think we'd find that women in their twenties are much more attached to their pets now. Why? Because we are displacing our need to be a mother into our pets to delay when we have children. I kid you not when I say that Vada is like my child. I love her a little too much (but that's okay because she's extra cute and deserves the love). This is also why Stewart won't let me get a dog yet...because when I want a baby I get a dog.
Anywho, let's move on to the weigh-in. I didn't weigh myself this morning... but I did yesterday so we'll go with that weight for several reasons. Reason one: I like that weight. Reason two: I don't want to post tonight. Reason three: cookies.
Weight on December 1: 179
Weight yesterday: 177
Difference: -2 lbs
Say what? YAY ME!
So I almost posted my weight yesterday I was so excited. I am officially past the 10 pound loss (only took me 6 months but hey who's counting?). I haven't been this low since I've started this journey... and I think the gym is finally catching up with me.
Anyways yes I realize I cannot avoid the cookie comment. Did you know that Saturday was National Cookie Day? I figured this out at my gym. Seriously I have no idea why they would put that on their calendar of events because ever since I saw that I had to have cookies. So last nightStewart and I made cookies... No-Bake Peanut Butter Oatmeal cookies. They were deeeelicious, and I only ate three five.
Next week I have to do my holiday baking. I pray that the cookie monster in me can avoid eating too much. They are my present to my boss and her family. Last year I made this huge tin of cookies for her family and I got rave reviews so I can't not do it this year. Did I mention I make chocolate peanut butter balls and I gravitate to chocolate and peanut butter? I will try and only have one. Try being the operative word.
I have a sweet tooth (and a salty tooth). I love sweets. We're not a dessert family but when there is dessert try and stop me. You can't. My dad has a sweet tooth too. He actually also sleep eats...cookies. So my mom had to stop buying cookies. That's a story for another day though.
My biggest hurdle during the holidays?
Cookies.
Lucky for me there is a Goodlife (my gym) in my hometown and I plan on going everyday they are open while I'm home to work off all the cookies (I want this shirt).
What's your holiday hurdle?
As I was driving into work today I couldn't help but thinking (cue the researcher in me) about how the fact that as a society we're having children later and later in life. At my age, my mom either was pregnant with my brother or had him already (don't feel like doing the math). I got to thinking that if a study were done comparing women in their twenties relationships to their pets versus women in our parent's generations relationships to their pets, I think we'd find that women in their twenties are much more attached to their pets now. Why? Because we are displacing our need to be a mother into our pets to delay when we have children. I kid you not when I say that Vada is like my child. I love her a little too much (but that's okay because she's extra cute and deserves the love). This is also why Stewart won't let me get a dog yet...because when I want a baby I get a dog.
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| Vada and her blankie |
Anywho, let's move on to the weigh-in. I didn't weigh myself this morning... but I did yesterday so we'll go with that weight for several reasons. Reason one: I like that weight. Reason two: I don't want to post tonight. Reason three: cookies.
Weight on December 1: 179
Weight yesterday: 177
Difference: -2 lbs
Say what? YAY ME!
So I almost posted my weight yesterday I was so excited. I am officially past the 10 pound loss (only took me 6 months but hey who's counting?). I haven't been this low since I've started this journey... and I think the gym is finally catching up with me.
Anyways yes I realize I cannot avoid the cookie comment. Did you know that Saturday was National Cookie Day? I figured this out at my gym. Seriously I have no idea why they would put that on their calendar of events because ever since I saw that I had to have cookies. So last night
Next week I have to do my holiday baking. I pray that the cookie monster in me can avoid eating too much. They are my present to my boss and her family. Last year I made this huge tin of cookies for her family and I got rave reviews so I can't not do it this year. Did I mention I make chocolate peanut butter balls and I gravitate to chocolate and peanut butter? I will try and only have one. Try being the operative word.
I have a sweet tooth (and a salty tooth). I love sweets. We're not a dessert family but when there is dessert try and stop me. You can't. My dad has a sweet tooth too. He actually also sleep eats...cookies. So my mom had to stop buying cookies. That's a story for another day though.
My biggest hurdle during the holidays?
Cookies.
Lucky for me there is a Goodlife (my gym) in my hometown and I plan on going everyday they are open while I'm home to work off all the cookies (I want this shirt).
What's your holiday hurdle?
Sunday, December 5, 2010
This Weekend
I finished Christmas shopping
Cleaned and organized the cupboards
Cleaned and organized the closets
Cleaned out my entire car
Menu planned for the week
and ordered our Christmas cards
Sneak peek:
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| yah we're dorks, but I love it! |
Miss Vada is in heat for the last time ever (hence why she looks like she's in pain or dying)
Surgery is Tuesday (eek! I am a nervous fur-Momma)
I hope your weekend was grand!
I hope your weekend was grand!
Friday, December 3, 2010
I alwayssometimesnever
I got this idea from And now, lights, and I'm lovin' it (bah da bah bah bah). As much as I love the idea for this post, I started it at the beginning of the week, and it took me this long to finish it. I had such a hard time coming up with sometimes and nevers. Anyways here I go!
I always...
-choose family first, always
-check my Blackberry the second I hear it go off
-gravitate towards french fries
-give cuddly kisses to Vada the second I get home
-jump to worst case scenario first {problem I know}
-sleep on the right side of the bed
-clean the toilet {Stewart always vacuums it's our deal}
-read my blog posts over 3-4 times to make sure it reads well and has no spelling mistakes
-use Bath and Body Works hand soap {lovin' the Vanilla Bean Christmas smells}
-pick up every dime that I see {except the one under the scary spider corner at my apt. building}
-check Facebook before I do anything on my computer even though I get notifications on my phone
-have to go pee before I do anything
-have a craving or something that I want right. this. second. {dslr, was the tna coat}
-am the driver {I used to have to pull teeth to get Stewart to drive on trips home - we now have a 50-50 deal}
I sometimes...
-wish I had went to school for photography, event/wedding planning, teacher or midwifery
-wish I had chosen to go to school somewhere closer to home or family
-buy things I can't afford
-wish I had bought a used SUV over a new car {but then I realize that I love love love my car}
-get the urge to drive home to see my parents that night
-think about how different my life would be if Kyle was still alive
-consider dying my hair red {Addison red}
-fill online shopping carts and want to cry when I hit the X
-want to kill my cat {this is the last time she'll be in heat, she gets spayed on Tuesday}
-get busy while watching a recorded episode and it replays like 3 times before I go crazy listening to over and over {usually Friends}
-find myself dreaming of my wedding day and all the details {okay okay this is verging on always}
-hug Vada too much that she scratches and bites my face
-{we sometimes} fight with Stewart's sister about whose kids will beat up whose kids {ours}
-{we sometimes} think about moving to Toronto
I never
-thought I'd end up this weight {again}
-have truly loved my whole body
-have eaten a hamburger {yuck}
-eat steak {yuck again}
-eat frozen vegetables
-will forget my brother {it's a huge fear with my horrible memory}
-watch night news {sometimes I watch the morning shows that contain news}
-forget how lucky I am to have the wonderful people I have in my life
-will get to be an Aunt by blood {and this breaks my heart because I'm so close with my Aunts}
-have considered keeping my last name
-anticipated all the amazing people I would meet through blogging
-have told my parents I hated them {I always was appalled by people that did this}
-would take a job growing up unless they agreed to give me the August long weekend off
-have done any hard or chemical drugs in my life
I started a Formspring account - it's a place where you can ask me questions and I'll answer back. I've considered doing an "Ask Anything" post for awhile, but I like this better. It's not time limited, and also can be found up in the top right corner there. Depending on how it goes, I might do a post about it, but if you ask a question, check back, because I'll answer it (obviously if the question is inappropriate I have discretion to ignore/delete it) Here is a box to get you started! Have a fabulous weekend!
I always...
-choose family first, always
-check my Blackberry the second I hear it go off
-gravitate towards french fries
-give cuddly kisses to Vada the second I get home
-jump to worst case scenario first {problem I know}
-sleep on the right side of the bed
-clean the toilet {Stewart always vacuums it's our deal}
-read my blog posts over 3-4 times to make sure it reads well and has no spelling mistakes
-use Bath and Body Works hand soap {lovin' the Vanilla Bean Christmas smells}
-pick up every dime that I see {except the one under the scary spider corner at my apt. building}
-check Facebook before I do anything on my computer even though I get notifications on my phone
-have to go pee before I do anything
-have a craving or something that I want right. this. second. {dslr, was the tna coat}
-am the driver {I used to have to pull teeth to get Stewart to drive on trips home - we now have a 50-50 deal}
I sometimes...
-wish I had went to school for photography, event/wedding planning, teacher or midwifery
-wish I had chosen to go to school somewhere closer to home or family
-buy things I can't afford
-wish I had bought a used SUV over a new car {but then I realize that I love love love my car}
-get the urge to drive home to see my parents that night
-think about how different my life would be if Kyle was still alive
-consider dying my hair red {Addison red}
-fill online shopping carts and want to cry when I hit the X
-want to kill my cat {this is the last time she'll be in heat, she gets spayed on Tuesday}
-get busy while watching a recorded episode and it replays like 3 times before I go crazy listening to over and over {usually Friends}
-find myself dreaming of my wedding day and all the details {okay okay this is verging on always}
-hug Vada too much that she scratches and bites my face
-{we sometimes} fight with Stewart's sister about whose kids will beat up whose kids {ours}
-{we sometimes} think about moving to Toronto
I never
-thought I'd end up this weight {again}
-have truly loved my whole body
-have eaten a hamburger {yuck}
-eat steak {yuck again}
-eat frozen vegetables
-will forget my brother {it's a huge fear with my horrible memory}
-watch night news {sometimes I watch the morning shows that contain news}
-forget how lucky I am to have the wonderful people I have in my life
-will get to be an Aunt by blood {and this breaks my heart because I'm so close with my Aunts}
-have considered keeping my last name
-anticipated all the amazing people I would meet through blogging
-have told my parents I hated them {I always was appalled by people that did this}
-would take a job growing up unless they agreed to give me the August long weekend off
-have done any hard or chemical drugs in my life
I started a Formspring account - it's a place where you can ask me questions and I'll answer back. I've considered doing an "Ask Anything" post for awhile, but I like this better. It's not time limited, and also can be found up in the top right corner there. Depending on how it goes, I might do a post about it, but if you ask a question, check back, because I'll answer it (obviously if the question is inappropriate I have discretion to ignore/delete it) Here is a box to get you started! Have a fabulous weekend!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Long Road
Well it's Thursday, and time for the weekly kind of update. Yesterday was the monthly kind.
First things first, a big-shout out to my boy Stewart wishing him a Happy Anniversary! Four years ago today we had the "talk".
It went something like this (bear in mind I have a horrible memory for details, particularly when rehashing conversations).
Me: Something along the lines of "What are we?"
Stewart: "How about I be your boyfriend and you be my girlfriend?"
It was a really cute moment in our relationship, unlike a month or so later when I first confessed I loved him and he gave me a lecture about love (the boy loves to give me a good lecture), don't worry he said it back. It just makes me laugh now.
Alrighty and now on to the update.
Meal Planning
Oh lordy. Meal planning how I love you! It's like when you get a cell phone for the first time, and become addicted and have no clue how you ever lived without one. Yah that's how I feel about meal planning. It's the greatest thing ever. Seriously. Anyone that doesn't meal plan get out a piece of paper right now and figure out your meals for the rest of the week and thank me later. Shop around your meal plan and thank me later. And when you're throwing out less food and not having to come up with a meal from the most random items in your fridge and pantry... yah you got it, thank me later. Your welcome.
Water Intake
I am still doing fairly well at this. I am best at it while at work. When I home I kind of suck. I have also really cut back in liquid calories, aside from the deeeelicious glass of orange juice I had last night. I need to step it up a notch but I mean, I'm doing well and get this, not peeing like an 80 year old man, only a 67 year old.
Eating Clean
This is going pretty good too. I haven't been writing down what I've been eating (tsk tsk), so I know I could probably be eating less or more refined, but I am happy with how that is going. My biggest task for myself is eating a healthy breakfast, and in order to do that I have to get up earlier, which I have proudly done two days in a row (Go me!). It beats a clementine and Oatmeal to Go bar while running out the door. I also had chocolate for breakfast today, it's Stewart's fault for getting me Kinder Surprises for our anniversary.
Exercising
I missed Monday and Tuesday since Monday I had the worst headache ever, and Tuesday I was a zombie running on four hours sleep. I went last night, can't go tonight so it looks like it's going to be a busy weekend in exercise! I am feeling very committed to exercise this time around and feel good about it. We're like those two people that never really liked each other but had to hang out because our friends were friends, but after all that time spent together we're starting to realize that we kind of like each other, and with time we might become the best of friends (Who knew?).
Goal Planning
Coat is feeling pretty good. I can wear a less bulky hoodie or sweater, and fully zip it up. I am so glad I didn't get an Extra Large. That would have been a huge (pardon the pun) mistake. My next goal is to kick things into higher gear for the beginning of December. With Christmas around the corner I really need to feel comfortable about going home and eating Christmas dinners without overindulging.
Budgeting
I kind of went a bit overboard with this paycheck. I did more Christmas shopping than I should have, but plan on doing less the next two weeks. I planned out my savings for my camera, and should if all goes as planned have enough before March! Go me!!
Positive Thinking
I'll admit I have been a little down on myself about my slowgress, but I know that if I pace myself and accept that I do have a long road ahead of me, and be patient with this journey, before I know it I will be wearing smaller jeans and smiling when I look in the mirror.
How is your week going?
First things first, a big-shout out to my boy Stewart wishing him a Happy Anniversary! Four years ago today we had the "talk".
It went something like this (bear in mind I have a horrible memory for details, particularly when rehashing conversations).
Me: Something along the lines of "What are we?"
Stewart: "How about I be your boyfriend and you be my girlfriend?"
It was a really cute moment in our relationship, unlike a month or so later when I first confessed I loved him and he gave me a lecture about love (the boy loves to give me a good lecture), don't worry he said it back. It just makes me laugh now.
 |
| {source} |
Alrighty and now on to the update.
Meal Planning
Oh lordy. Meal planning how I love you! It's like when you get a cell phone for the first time, and become addicted and have no clue how you ever lived without one. Yah that's how I feel about meal planning. It's the greatest thing ever. Seriously. Anyone that doesn't meal plan get out a piece of paper right now and figure out your meals for the rest of the week and thank me later. Shop around your meal plan and thank me later. And when you're throwing out less food and not having to come up with a meal from the most random items in your fridge and pantry... yah you got it, thank me later. Your welcome.
Water Intake
I am still doing fairly well at this. I am best at it while at work. When I home I kind of suck. I have also really cut back in liquid calories, aside from the deeeelicious glass of orange juice I had last night. I need to step it up a notch but I mean, I'm doing well and get this, not peeing like an 80 year old man, only a 67 year old.
Eating Clean
This is going pretty good too. I haven't been writing down what I've been eating (tsk tsk), so I know I could probably be eating less or more refined, but I am happy with how that is going. My biggest task for myself is eating a healthy breakfast, and in order to do that I have to get up earlier, which I have proudly done two days in a row (Go me!). It beats a clementine and Oatmeal to Go bar while running out the door. I also had chocolate for breakfast today, it's Stewart's fault for getting me Kinder Surprises for our anniversary.
Exercising
I missed Monday and Tuesday since Monday I had the worst headache ever, and Tuesday I was a zombie running on four hours sleep. I went last night, can't go tonight so it looks like it's going to be a busy weekend in exercise! I am feeling very committed to exercise this time around and feel good about it. We're like those two people that never really liked each other but had to hang out because our friends were friends, but after all that time spent together we're starting to realize that we kind of like each other, and with time we might become the best of friends (Who knew?).
Goal Planning
Coat is feeling pretty good. I can wear a less bulky hoodie or sweater, and fully zip it up. I am so glad I didn't get an Extra Large. That would have been a huge (pardon the pun) mistake. My next goal is to kick things into higher gear for the beginning of December. With Christmas around the corner I really need to feel comfortable about going home and eating Christmas dinners without overindulging.
Budgeting
I kind of went a bit overboard with this paycheck. I did more Christmas shopping than I should have, but plan on doing less the next two weeks. I planned out my savings for my camera, and should if all goes as planned have enough before March! Go me!!
Positive Thinking
I'll admit I have been a little down on myself about my slowgress, but I know that if I pace myself and accept that I do have a long road ahead of me, and be patient with this journey, before I know it I will be wearing smaller jeans and smiling when I look in the mirror.
How is your week going?
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
New Beginnings
It's another month. December. Anyone else think November was over in a blink? It seems like my birthday was a week ago.
Anyways -- in keeping with my plans it's time for an update!
On November 1st I weighed in at 184 pounds. After a lot of slacking and failing at getting the ball rolling I hit another wall. I am not exactly impressed at this point with the fact that I'm not giving big numbers, but I am going places, and that place is down. I know that it's about one step at a time, and the fact that I'm making positive strides in a healthy direction.
So where am I today? 179 pounds. 5 pounds in a month isn't bad. It's not great, but it's not bad either. I'm also 1 pound away from finally hitting the 10 pound loss mark.
and today...
hopefully I can pull some big numbers out between now and Christmas!
p.s. I hate only having a cell for a camera!
Anyways -- in keeping with my plans it's time for an update!
On November 1st I weighed in at 184 pounds. After a lot of slacking and failing at getting the ball rolling I hit another wall. I am not exactly impressed at this point with the fact that I'm not giving big numbers, but I am going places, and that place is down. I know that it's about one step at a time, and the fact that I'm making positive strides in a healthy direction.
So where am I today? 179 pounds. 5 pounds in a month isn't bad. It's not great, but it's not bad either. I'm also 1 pound away from finally hitting the 10 pound loss mark.
hopefully I can pull some big numbers out between now and Christmas!
p.s. I hate only having a cell for a camera!
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