oh, hi.

oh hayyyy. I've just been busy playing Donkey Kong, eating Chinese food and going to the gym all weekend. I know today is a regular weigh-in day but I'm going to wait until Wednesday and do the whole December 1st update.

Soooo for now, I'm going to do a fun little survey as seen on Steph's blog forget.me.nots and city sidewalks. She's a recent bloggy discovery for me, and I really enjoy her blog! I highly recommend you stop on by! She has cute kitties!

Four Shows I Watch:
Private Practice
Grey's Anatomy
Dexter
Being Erica
{we all know I watch much more than that, but these four have the best seasons this year IMO}

Four Things I'm Passionate About:
losing weight & gyming it
research
the people in my life
bloggyland (obviously, I'm obsessed)


Four Phrased I Say A Lot:
Thing/Thingy/Thingamajigger {I fail at speaking properly}
No worries {Apparently I stole it from Stewart 4 years ago}
I'm tired {it's true}
I have a potty mouth according to Stewart, and drop the f bomb too frequently

Four Things I've Learned from the Past:
Life is too short - each day is a gift
Nothing is more important than your family and friends and the people in your life
Don't sweat the small stuff - it won't matter tomorrow {working progress}
Don't settle for less, you'll end up spending/losing more in the long run

Four Place I Would Like to Go:
Costa Rica
Greece
Maldives {google it}
British Columbia & Alberta

Four Things I Did Yesterday:
Slept till noon {sweet bliss}
Played Donkey Kong
Went to the Gym
Grocery shopping

Four Things I'm Looking Forward to:
Christmas vacation {and everything it involves}
Hearing about the StatsCan job
Saving enough for a DSLR
Reaching my goal weight 

Four Things I Love About Winter:
Pretty white snow and the morning after a big storm
Wooly/comfy sweaters, socks, track pants, scarves, hats and mittens
Christmas lights
Being at home the longest I get to be all year

Four Things on My Wish List:
Nikon D3100
The job at StatsCan
A lululemon wardrobe
Sorel boots & New glasses {hey they relate...}


I could tag people, but I'm doing what Steph did and inviting you to participate.


Happy Monday!

The Story of Us and Four Years Later

After my first year in university I moved back home for the summer, and would move into a house with roomies in the fall. I had reached a point in my life where I knew who I was, was happy with that person, and truly felt comfortable in my own skin.

I had never had a real boyfriend, or any boyfriend for that matter, and never quite understood why. Everyone told me that a) when I stopped looking I would find him; b) that when I was happy with me that I would find him; or c) as my mom liked to tell me, that I hadn't found him because I was so damn picky, and that I would only find him, when he was the right one.

When I went back to school in the fall all of the above happened. Stewart and I's best friends (whom I'll refer to as L & N) were dating each other (and still are). We met through them, after one of L and I very strategically planned a post-Thanksgiving (early October remember) ride offer back to Ottawa (he was hot, how could I not try to meet him). Stewart endured an entire 4 hour car ride filled with Red Hot Chili Pepper music (I would later find out that they were one of his least favourite bands). I had recently seen them in concert, and had my iPod shuffle completely filled with their music, and had not had the chance to switch up the play list. He sat in the backseat (L in the front), and we kept starring at each other through the rear-view mirror the entire drive. At the end of the drive (when I dropped him off) L gave him her email so we could make plans to all meet up sometime.

cutest pic ever? I know. Stewart's Mom's wedding in Summer 2008

After what felt like an eternity (obviously was only a week or so) I kind of lost hope and began questioning whether our eye flirtation was a figment of my imagination. Finally, after N (i.e, Stewart's best friend and L's boyfriend) came to visit, they got him to add me to MSN. We spent many days and nights glued to our computers chatting on MSN, and I really started to like him. He finally asked me on a date, and we had a pre-date group hang out with the four of us a couple days before. Our first real date was to the movies to see The Prestige and I invited him to come out with us (the roomies) on Halloween, and after that night we became inseparable, and officially boyfriend and girlfriend on December 2, 2006.*

So that was four years ago, and here we are, four years later living together with a wild cat that belongs in a zoo. In previous years we have gone all out for our anniversary.

Montreal 2008

Year 1: I made a scrap book for Stewart and spent about a bajillion hours on it and got him a watch (he got me perfume).

Year 2: We got a hotel in Montreal for the night and had the most amazing Chinese food ever.

Year 3: We went out for a really nice dinner at Milestones.

So here we are approaching the fourth. I honestly can't believe it's been that long, and on the other hand, I can't believe it's only been four years.

Stewart and I have been through so much together, and after it all, we have only gotten closer. After everything I continue to have a never ending faith in our love and truly consider him to be my best friend. I am so excited about our life together, I really couldn't imagine it with anyone else (insert awww, and refrain from the "when's the big day?" question - not for a while, don't hold your breath).

So what are we doing this year? Well since we're on a tight budget, and Christmas is so close we're going to keep it simple. Before I can explain what we're doing we'll have to rewind a little bit...

When I was a kid, besides Mario (actually tied with) I loved Donkey Kong, it was definitely one of my favourite Super Nintendo games ever (and any game console really). I have actually considered buying a used SNES many times just so I could play Donkey Kong (and Super Mario) again.

Fast forward to this June at the E3 Expo. Stewart's favourite time of the year is E3, it's when they announce all the upcoming games. He PVRed the entire event. On one of the days I was so delightfully informed that they finally were releasing Donkey Kong Country for the Wii. I had been waiting for that announcement for years. I immediately looked up the release date and was saddened to see it was coming out in 2011. Big sigh.

Fast forward again to Septemberish. I was curious to see if they had bumped the date up for the Christmas season. Bingo! November 22nd. Sweet jesus. I immediately texted Stewart.

"Anniversary. Donkey Kong. Chinese Food."

I'm pretty sure that at that moment Stewart probably thought he had the coolest girlfriend ever (I am).

This past weekend I made the Donkey Kong purchase, and it sits still wrapped in my living room waiting for our anniversary next Thursday. Last night we almost succumbed to temptation, but decided that we'll officially celebrate on Saturday since he has a busy week with school coming up and wouldn't be able to commit hours of his time to DK on Thursday.

So what am I doing this Saturday?

Playing DK and eating Chinese food with the bestest guy around that's what!

Be jealous...now.

*Note this part of the story is from a previous page I had up if you feel like you're having deja vu. 

Camera Crazy

You know it's bad when it's all you think about.

You know it's bad when pretty much every site you  go to that has Google ads, selects only ads specific to hot deals on cameras.

You know it's bad when Amazon sends you camera emails.

Oh goodness, I have a problem.

Once I get an idea in my head, I won't stop until I have it. The problem is, I can't have it for awhile, unless I did the buy now, pay later catastrophe of a plan. It's going to take me awhile to save up the money to get the DSLR I want, with all the necessary accessories.

Let us break it down.

I have been having the whole Nikon vs. Canon debate in my head for the past few weeks, but arrived back on the logical - you know you prefer Nikon - decision, and just because Canon has been having great deals on, doesn't mean I should get one. I could write a whole post on the decision behind why I prefer a Nikon, and at the end of the day, I would be happy with either, I just think I would prefer a Nikon. I know both are great, and it's pretty much a 50-50 split on what people like.

Anywho... the camera I have decided to zero-in on and specifically save up for is this puppy here:

the Nikon D3100

This beautiful child that will one day be mine retails for about $649.99 - $699.99, and I'm hoping that mayhaps by the time I have enough money saved up (probably February) it might be on for $599.99. It's new, so great sales are still few and far between. I love her.

So the issue with DSLR's is that you can't just buy and go. You need a few more things to start up. Including:

A Camera Bag

from here

To start up I'm going to get a cheapy messenger style bag pictured above. However... as soon as it will be possible I plan on getting one of these beautifully expensive bags from this amazing etsy shop.

Memory Card

 Within my research I've learned that normal SD cards no longer are good enough for me. I need to buy at least a Class 8 or 10 SD card.

UV Filter

 I've learned also that UV Lens Filters are about as essential of an accessory as they come for DSLRs.

Tripod

I'm not going to lie... one thing I most look forward to taking pictures of with a DSLR is the moon. I know a tripod is necessary for that and I really want a Gorillapod!

Slip Cover

from here

Making your gear pretty is essential in my books. A pretty slip cover for my camera will definitely be in the must have purchase category.

 

Learning Tools  

from here

 I'm as amateur as they come so a dummies book is also a necessity. 


In case you haven't been doing the math, that all adds up to be about $900 after taxes (not including the expensive pretty bag or tripod!) Yah, that's more than two months of my rent... and I currently have a little over $100 saved specifically for the camera fund. Oy vey. 

Questions for you DSLR owners out there:
What else do I need?
What should I get later on? 
Hints or helpful links/resources?

While I save I plan on becoming very informed! 

Money Worries

anywhere you go, it's the same cry
money worries

-bedouin soundclash

I think the worst part of becoming an adult is money. Well duh.

I quote Bedouin Soundclash here because I went to see them in concert last week. As they sang the song Money Worries I started thinking that when their first album (first year of university) came out and I was listening to it, this song definitely had no significance to me whatsoever.

In university I lived off of my student loans, you know the ones you'll only have to pay off in the future when you're making lots of money (yah right! thanks past self)... so I didn't worry about what I was spending and went shopping too much.

Now that I'm part of the whole adult world I will certainly admit that it's not fun in that regard. Sure I enjoy driving around in a new car, making my own way in the world, and rarely having to fall on my mother's shoulder for a financial help anymore (besides the help they give me by paying my car insurance - best parents ever? I'd say so), but thinking and worry about money sucks. Budgeting sucks. Not getting what you want right now... well it sucks.

I miss the time when you're just a kid, and your parents just provided you with what you needed, and if you got what you wanted, life was great, you never thought about the hard work behind everything you had and a $5 bill was gold that bought candy. Not to mention eating candy was never a bad idea and no caloric intake or weight gain was in the back of your mind. Ahhh ignorance.

Anyways, I guess all I'm saying is I want to fast forward to the point in my career where I'm not living on the whole entry-level pay scale and can buy things when I want them. Of course...when that time rolls around I'll probably have kiddies that will come first. C'est la vie.

P.S. Hop on over to Mandy's blog a sorta fairytale today, I'm being highlighted! I gave some shout-outs :) Mandy's blog is great, her son Bennett is uber-adorable and her photography skills are incredible!

The Truth Will Set You Free

A huge big thanks to Jumble Mash for passing along this award to me. I really love your blog and what it's all about. It's truly unique and always a fun read! If you haven't stopped by before, I encourage you to do so, and hit that follow button!

The truth: I'm not a huge fan of blog awards, I feel so very honoured when I receive one and give all the credit on my Awards Page, but I don't really like the pressure of picking other blogs to pass it along to, and I think they are the blogger version of chain letters... and with that I'm participating in this one. Why? Because I like what it's about and I enjoy filling out a little survey/fact giver thingymajigger any day.

I believe honesty is truly the best policy. I don't lie because I'm not capable of it.

I hate sunshine, flowers and rainbow blogs. I think you're full of crap and nothing in life is perfect.

The rules of this particular award are to share ten honest things about myself, and no rule for passing it along (I'll share some love though).

So here are ten honest things:

1. My biggest fear in life is death. I am actually terrified of losing someone else. I really hate being an only child now....it's a very lonely feeling. 
2. I went to therapy for a few months about six or eight months after my brother died. I made a lot of progress but then when things started going good my therapist abandoned me. She stopped calling to schedule appointments and I never heard from her again. I was really bitter about it and still feel pretty scarred from that whole experience. Yes I could have called, but that is her job. If I had a job with benefits I think I would find a better non-abandoning therapist, because I know there is still work to be done.
3. I don't think living for the future is the way to live your life... but I'm so excited for the wedding planning and baby making stage of my life that it's hard not to live for the future.
4. I cry a lot. I'm a huge baby, and massively emotional. I've always been an emotional person, but grief fundamentally changes who you are. Over the past three and a half years the amount of crying I do significantly decreases with time, but I think that first year I cried over a thousand times. 
5. I'm really defensive. I suck at taking criticism, even if it's constructive (see number 4). A lot of Stewart and I's fights will happen because of this.
6. The other large portion of our fights happen because he's a obsessive neat freak, and I am messy, my nickname was Tornado growing up for good reason. Please note there is a massive difference between messy and dirty. 
7. I have a hard time reading a blog if I think it's messy looking, has bad colouring, is riddled with junk or has a bad set-up. I don't read from Google Reader so if I don't like the way it looks I have a hard time going back. There I said it... I judge blogs by their cover. 
8. I really want to do an ask me anything series, but I feel like I have to wait until I have more followers and readers or else I'll end up having like 2 questions and look stupid. 
9. I'm jealous of all you bloggers out there with lots of followers, commenters and giveaways.
10. To all you DDGBD's out there... I actually stopped doing it because the mass posts stopped. I hated reporting my weight on Sunday's and I didn't see a point of emailing it off every week if it wasn't being posted.

That was a little deeper than I was intended, but hey it's honest.

So now I will share the love for some other honest blogs out there.

• Miss Mary at a small loss who should change her blogs name to a significant loss or something like that because the girl has drive and is so very inspirational! She's lost nearly 70 pounds and looks amazing!
• Jess at A Freckle on the Nose of Life's Complexion because she used to be one of my favourite bloggers and I use the word used to because she doesn't blog enough anymore for me to actively read her blog. I hope by passing this along I can encourage her to post another post (and keep on posting). Please come back and share some of your Christmas spirit with the world. 
• Lisa at Diary of a Newlywed - She said it right in a comment a few days ago. We are so very similar it's kind of freaky.

Okay that's all for now! 
Hope your weekends are going well :)

Right Now

Me: Stewart if I was at home right now, I would be telling you to take my computer away from me.
Stewart: Amy stop, you can't afford it.

Just to paint a little picture for you. I've said it before, I'll say it now, and I'll say it again: I'm an impulsive person.

Do you have a great idea? I'll jump on it.
Do you have a bad idea that sounds good? I'll jump on that too.
Do you have a fun idea? Count me in!
Do you have a quick fix of an idea that gets me what I want now? Oh please just let me do it.

It doesn't surprise me that we live in a society ridden with credit card debt. We are the right now society. We want it right now. I don't want to wait for what I want when I can have it right now. I want it right now. 

I want to be 130 pounds right now, but I've learned (actually pretty much always known), that quick fixes and hard detox diets are a bad idea, you end up worse of down the road.

But when it comes to things I want right now I have a much harder time waiting it out. I will try to finandle my way into figuring out the right now.

I am not in a ridiculous amount of credit card debt, something I'm proud of because I know I'm highly susceptible to it and the main reason I probably don't have a lot of credit card debt is because I have a low credit card limit.

Stewart is an accountant... well almost he's in school to be one and he works at a big tax company for co-op. He is good with money. He knows numbers. He's a super smart genius boy that does a fairly good job controlling me and my crazy ideas for spending money.

I see it all the time, people getting in trouble by doing the whole "Buy Now! Pay Later!" and thinking tomorrow will never come, and then they're shocked because they owe $21334648 in those 36 months that came up so fast. I get it. You want it now. Believe me... I get it. 

I wish I could save money easily. I wish saving money made me as excited as new shiny things, or new smelly things (I spent a good amount of time in Bath and Body Works yesterday). But saving sucks. Saving is boring. Saving is safe. Saving is...grown up. I don't want to be a grown up. I want to sulk, moan and be a baby and get what I want.

What do I want? What makes my heart pitter patter?
Cameras.
I want a DSLR so. bad. 
Right now so bad. 

I can't afford one. At all. Not any time soon at all. Unless... I do one of those "Buy now, pay equal payments for 24 months"  (like only $30ish dollars a month affordable). That's not as bad as the "Buy Now! Pay Later" right? Wrong. I know those credit cards are bad too, they're bad territory. They're a slippery slope. They are credit score thrashers (something Stewart is very cautious about).

But but but... I want one. sigh.

{source}

Someone enable me please. Be an enabler!
I can just hear my Mom "Wants and needs, wants and needs". But Mom I want it so bad I need it!

P.S. This particular camera is $200 off until November 20. I actually wanted a Nikon originally, but this one is much better and beautiful.

Surprise! Almost.

On Friday night Stewart (finally revealing Superman's name - big moment!) and I went home again for the weekend. When I was planning my birthday festivities and trying to figure out a best way to plan it, my best friend Katie was trying to figure out a way we could celebrate together.

When we went off to university in separate directions, I went East to Ottawa, and she went South to Guelph, and now she lives in Toronto for Law School. Unfortunately, because of this we never see each other except when we are both home at the same time. This tends to only happen around holidays, and it can be pretty hard to meet up when you have 108320 family events. So when it came to planning a weekend for my birthday we decided we would both try and go home this past weekend. When I went home two weeks ago Katie was there and I thought, "Great I don't have to go home in two weeks!" because Stewart was supposed to be staying in Ottawa that weekend.

Shortly after this decision, Katie came online and told me she was going home for my birthday, so I said "we'll see" and about 5 minutes later Stewart came in the room saying he was coming home with me. I didn't think twice.

Fast forward to Friday. I was lounging around at home with my parents, and instead of getting off my lazy butt to grab my computer in my bag, I grabbed their laptop to look up a camera on the computer. My dad's homepage is his Facebook, and what do I see?

Upcoming Events:
Amy Surprise 23rd Birth...
Tomorrow 8pm.

Say what?

In a panic, I tried to close the browser, but the damage was done, and there was no Men in Blacking the moment. I freaked out and messaged my other best friend since I knew she wasn't in town and told her what happened....and then messaged Stewart. I decided not to tell anyone else, and just play it by ear. Besides, all I knew was that I had a something at 8pm tomorrow.

I suck at lying so all day with my Mom was pretty difficult. I made it through, and even remained slightly calm through our dinner that had been so slyly planned. On our way home, I was a ball of nerves, and as we pulled into the driveway (earlier than planned) I saw people scrambling in our kitchen. By the time I got to the door I could only muster a really bad fake surprise and everyone knew I knew.

All that aside, I had an amazing night. I felt so incredibly humbled that my best friend, cousin and family members had pulled this off! We went out to the bar after and had such a great time! A bunch of my brother's friends even came out for the night!

Katie and I

Stewart and I

My mom and cousin

I have such amazing friends and family. I had been dreading my birthday for three and a half years, and it turned out to be one of the best birthdays I've ever had... all because of them!

So in other Monday news... today is weigh-in day.

On the way back to Ottawa yesterday Stewart and I got to talking about our life together. We realized that right now we're in the perfect position to make the best out of everything. We aren't tied down, we don't have children, and we also have a lot of free time. We're on a budget with not much else to do, but get into the best shape of our lives. Given my Start Over as of November 1, I am super focused on getting things back on track.

Stewart is now on board too. We're going to put our lives into overdrive and see awesome results!

That being said, the fact that I had not exactly planned on drinking a lot this weekend, my weight loss earlier this week went away.

I've been out drinking two weekends in a row (Halloween last weekend). I know that alcohol plays a huge role in what I saw on the scale this morning, and the fact that I have a lady friend visiting.

My weight last week: 184
Today: 184.5

I must point out... what the picture on my Wii looks like and why I'm not beating myself up over this weight. I know the number isn't an actual reflection of my weight, but part of a lingering hangover and a monthly visitor. I know I'm in the right mind again, and I know I'm going to see great things.

Happy Monday!

On the Road

{source}

Okay so yesterday I didn't check-in with how things are going because I needed to reflect on my birthday, and I don't like to post twice in one day. So today I'm going to do my weekly check-in.

For those of you a little behind, I have started over and have big plans for myself.

Sundays: Weekly plans
Mondays: Weigh-in
Thursdays: Check-in

Meal Planning 
Superman and I stuck by our meal plans for dinner every night this week, and it was excellent. I'm glad we've used up the food in our fridge and ate some pretty awesome meals. Last night's dinner was delicious!

Water Intake
I have really rocked in the water department this week and been peeing like a 80 year old man. I feel so good when I drink lots of water, and it's such a simple part of my success. The only reason I slack in this department is because I hate having to constantly pee. I have never been able to stay on track long enough to surpass the abnormal amount of peeing.

Eating Clean 
I've been eating pretty good this week, and been avoiding bad snacking and eating out for breakfast on my way to work. On Wednesday we went to the movies for my birthday and we did get snacks, but it was my birthday, the worst birthday/day ever and I wanted snacks. Stop judging me now, k thanks. 

Exercising
So this week I went to the gym on Monday and that was it. I can't remember the excuse I came up with for myself on Tuesday, but Wednesday was just a ridiculous day and yesterday I had to dog-sit after work and I was running on very little sleep. So next week I'm hoping to accomplish more in the exercise realm, because I'm going home today.

Goal Planning
I officially have enough money to buy my coat after I get paid today, but I am going to wait a couple more weeks (unless the temperature keeps dropping!) and get the Large. 

Budgeting
In terms of budgeting I've been doing well, mainly because I have like $2.00 in my bank account until I get paid today. A huge part of Wednesday's crappiness was the amount of money I had to spend on stupid necessary things (i.e., vet bills, license renewal, license plate renewal, unpaid parking tickets I thought I could avoid forever payments, etc.)

Positive Thinking
See yesterday's post. I have been much happier ever since my birthday has disappeared. I have moved on from it and am just glad it's over!

How has your week been going?

Have an excellent weekend :)

Law of Attraction

{source}

Ever heard of the Law of Attraction?

...you know like The Secret?

I totally believe in that stuff.

It's all in your attitude. 

I haven't quite figured out how to make myself rich by just believing I'll get money...even though it's supposedly that easy.

Anywho... I believe that your attitude has a lot to do with what happens to you.

Those people that are negative and update their Facebook status stating that today is the worst day of their life...everyday. The woe is me statusers... drive me insane. I feel like screaming, ummmm if you believe your life is shit, obviously it's going to be shit!

Anyways, in dreading an entire day for over three years, I firmly believe that I just totally made yesterday shit through will.

Yes that's right... yesterday was shit. Actually if I were to categorize it... it would fall under the top ten worst days for sure. 

It was one of those days where everything went wrong.
One thing after the freakin' other. 

I actually planned on blogging yesterday but the power was out all day... no I'm not kidding.

So anyways, in the interest of forgetting yesterday and never thinking of it again... 

Here's to November 4th, my 23rd year (actually I guess it'd be considered my 24th year) and making the best of it with a positive attitude!

Who knows... maybe I'll even figure out a way to will money my way!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my birthday.
23.
I've had a lot of time to mentally prepare myself for it.

I've been dreading this day for three and a half years.

I know age is just a number, but it represents something.

I won't resent my age for the entire year, but tomorrow... I just want it to go away.

I'm ready for November 4th.

I want to make it through tomorrow.

And now... tomorrow is going to be even more rough.

I've learned that Superman's sister has to put her dog down tomorrow.

I've been a really active part in this dog's life for the past four years.

I'm her doggie aunt, dog sitter, toy buyer and cheese sharer.

Tomorrow, on my birthday she is leaving to doggy heaven.

Tomorrow sucks.